I Know Kung Fu...

Yes... I know Karate too... and 47 other dangerous words...

So don't mess with me....or else...WAHHHHHH TAHHHHHHH!!!!

Someone to Listen To

People starts talking to me. They pretend they needed advice, but actually they just want someone to listen to them.

- An American Psychologist

Addiction to Winning

"I am addicted to winning. When you are in the red zone, you got to score."

-An unnamed Football Coach

Contract Law

The professor of a contract law class asked one of his better students, "If you were to give someone an orange, how would you go about it?"

The student replied, "Here's an orange."

The professor was outraged. "No! No! Think like a lawyer!"

The student then replied, "Okay. I'd tell him 'I hereby give & convey to you all & singular, my estate & interests, rights, claim, title, claim & advantages of & in, said orange, together with all its rind, juice, pulp, & seeds, & all rights & advantages with full power to bite, cut, freeze & otherwise eat, the same, or give the same away with & without the pulp, juice, rind & seeds, anything herein before or hereinafter or in any deed, or deeds, instruments of whatever nature or kind whatsoever to the contrary in anywise notwithstanding...'"

Okay...someone please kill him for me. I pay you $20K.