If I Had My Child To Raise All Over Again...

I came across this email the other day, and thought it was timely to share with all the parents out there. Like them, I have a 5-year-old boy (little Eaglet) and watching him grow everyday is both a privilege and a blessings. Hopefully this short little message will help us set our compass right. Here we go:

If I had my child to raise all over again,
I would build self-esteem first, and the house later.
I would finger-paint more, and point the finger less.
I would do less correcting and more connecting,
I would take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes.
I would care to know less and know to care more.
I would take more hikes and fly more kites,
I would stop playing serious, and seriously play.
I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars.
I would do more hugging and less tugging.
I would see the oak tree in the acorn more often.
I would be firm less often, and affirm much more.
I would model less about the love of power, and more about the power of love.

Happy reflecting and hopefully gain some bearings :)

Huperetes

"Huperetes" - literally means bottom-rower or under-rowers. Servants, in today's context.

"I have appeared to you for this purpose, to make you a huperetes (bottom rower)..."
Acts 26:16

These are the words of the Lord to the Apostle Paul on the road to Damascus. Paul, considered by many to be the greatest Apostle, was not called to be a mighty pastor, or evangelist, or even given a prominance among the twelve. He was simply called to be a bottom rower, a lowly galley slave...chained in place, never seeing where he was going, always moving with the same stroke at the will and command of the Master. No glory!

Many people today decide on their own that the Lord has called them to be something glorified. Maybe you think you ought to be the captain, or the helmsman, or even a mighty marine ready for battle. In reality, the Lord has called you to be a bottom rower. How do we know? Because He is the Captain, He is the Helmsman, He is the Soldier. All things are done for His glory, not ours. He asks us to walk in faith one step at a time, one stroke of the oar at a time.

Ours is an age of consumerism. An ungodly and carnal generation totally immersed in the preoccupation with 'my rights' and 'my choices'. There is a radical need to be tutored to serve God on His terms, not ours. We are taught the great reversal - the greater to serve the lesser.

Four key enemies to a servant of Christ, a 'huperetes'; four key spirits of our age. They are:

A consumer spirit - We fight for our rights, but go light on our responsibilities. There is nothing inherently wrong with having rights, it is dangerous when we only want our rights but discard the associating responsibilities. Many didn't know that with rights comes responsibilities. A consumer says "What's in for me?" A servant says "Can I serve you?" We need to cultivate a serving spirit. Don't covet.

A competitive spirit - We compete all the time, and on just about anything. Best view, best seats, best spot, VIP treatment, best coverage, best floor, best car, best corner office, best work table, the list goes on. The problem with competition is the "at any cost" mentality. The "to be top at all cost" attitude sabotages the proper process and posture for promotion to such high places and positions. We need to cultivate a grateful spirit. Don't exploit.

A compromising spirit - We go easy on ourselves, all the time. We lower the standards over the years for ourselves, gives excuses, and cut corners, but only for ourselves. The moral line is blurred or non-existing. A little here, a little there, we compromise and leak, a drop at a time. We need to cultivate a spirit of moral excellence. Don't succumb under.

A complaining spirit.
The best part is, if others demand some rights from us, or compromise, or just do the same things mentioned above to us, we complain, get mad, and get even. Worst, we get bitter. It is always their fault. They shouldn't do this to me. I demand a reason for such treatment...and so on. We complain because we do not regard that God is in control, and therefore we often take matters into our own hands. We need to cultivate a meek spirit. Don't churn within.

Such carnal mindsets must go for a huperetes. We are called to radical & authentic servanthood. Today is that day.

Valentine's Day

I came across this heart warming article about love, and although Valentine's Day is over, it is a good reminder and reflection of what love looks like in and from the eyes on these young ones. And as usual, this is my gift of words to you.

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When Children Ages 4-8 were asked What Love Is

'When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love.'
Rebecca - age 8

'When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.'
Billy - age 4

'Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.'
Karl - age 5

'Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.'
Chrissy - age 6

'Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.'
Terri - age 4

'Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.'
Danny - age 7

'Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss'
Emily - age 8

'Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.'
Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)

'If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate.'
Nikka - age 6 (we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)

'Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.'
Noelle - age 7

'Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.'
Tommy - age 6

'During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore.'
Cindy - age 8

'My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.'
Clare - age 6

'Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.'
Elaine-age 5

'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.'
Chris - age 7

'Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day..'
Mary Ann - age 4

'I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.'
Lauren - age 4

'When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.' (what an image)
Karen - age 7

'You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it But if you mean it, you should say it a lot.. People forget.'
Jessica - age 8

And the final one:

The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said,

'Nothing, I just helped him cry'

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Wow, listen to this 4-year-old boy! He understood what many adults (men) don't - Tears. I wrote a song for my wife some time ago. There was this one line that says, "Every time I hear you cry, I'll cry with you."

It was Orid who wrote that "Tears are sometimes more eloquent than words." Orid, 43 BC - AD 17.

Well, Valentine's Day comes and goes each year, and so is life. But what make this life so special is the relationship and bonds we built over time, each and every time, even after we are long gone. Our children sees the love that we shared among us, and learn to love. And who says that only we can teach them how to love?

We need love's tender lessons taught,
As only weakness can;
God hath His small interpreters,
The child must teach the man.

-Author unknown

Happy Valentine's Day!

8 Lessons I learnt from "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button"

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards" - Soren Kierkegaard
(words that appear in the movie trailer)

Time : 2 hrs and 47 min
Theatre : Orchard Cineleisure
Ticket price : $8

The themes centre on love, time, aging, youth, changes, death, the impermanence of life and the reality of relationships and bonds that last a lifetime.

Mark Twain once wrote: “Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of 80 and gradually approach 18.” In a way, it is like saying "youth is wasted on the young". Upon this quote a story was born (a story written by F. Scott Fitzgerald) and thereafter a movie was made.

For me, this is an epic tale that makes one contemplate the wonders of life, of birth and death, and most of all, love. It touches on questions we ask ourselves and choices we opt over the course of a lifetime. The backbone of this story is the developing relationship between 2 individuals, Benjamin and Daisy. And the plot is the tension that brews as Daisy grows older while Benjamin becomes younger each and every day.

I am deeply awed by the way the movie unfolds itself. The story begins in New Orleans at the end of WW1 in 1918 with the unveiling of a giant clock in the grand central train station. The clock runs backward in memory of the fallen soldiers who will never know a future. It was a heart-broken scene. He was a father, and so am I. I can identify his heartbeat.

Lets look at the individuals. They all represent something to me.

The central, emotional core of the movie is, of course, Benjamin Button (Brad Pitt). He represents for me a man, like anyone of us, who is unable to stop time or reverse it (unlike the clock-maker). However, he is also a man who has a life unlike any others. An extraordinary life journey. His is the odd condition that makes him grow younger instead of older.

Interestingly, just like the story of Forrest Gump, a sense of wonder is a trademark of Benjamin's personality. From start to finish, this character tries to be himself, accepting his flaws and celebrating his strengths as a human being: "It's never too late or too early to be whoever you want to be."

Daisy (Blanchett) represents the life of anyone too caught up in the drama and excitement of career and friends (the artistic kind). More importantly, she embodies a woman, who has to make peace with the idea of growing older while the person she loves is getting younger. She represents everybody's common fear of growing old, and losing the ability to maintain or hold on to life's various positions and demands.

Queenie (the woman who adopted Benjamin) gives the story it’s grace and warmth. Her unconditional love toward Benjamin and others is breathtaking. In fact, she is probably the only woman who ever really deserves Benjamin's love. She is the true heart and soul behind Benjamin’s story and without her it would never have carried the emotional weight it reached. She represents our parents or folks who love us unconditionally, and have a genuine interest in our well-being, without any selfish personal agenda.

Thomas Button (Benjamin's father) represents a kind of successful but lonely man in this world, and eventually an old man who is dying and wants to reconnect with the boy he ditched years ago. Thankfully, instead of showing anger or seeking revenge, Benjamin treats him with kindly compassion for he has come to realize that death is a tender moment that must be treated with respect and dignity.

Some segments of the story that deserved contemplations due to their ironical prepositions:

One of these is when he turns away Daisy as she makes sexual advances towards him while the two are in their 20th years of their lives. With her at the age of 20s and him physically closer to 60 it was a sweet and poignant decision on his part. Later, when they are closer to the same age (both in their 40s), he does not reject her advances proving he was wiser about when to accept her into his arms then instead of when she was at the younger, more foolish age.

Another focuses on the part that preaches the belief of fate. There is a line of dialogue that states our lives are predetermined and you go where fate takes you. Much like chaos theory in reasoning. The scene describes an accident that could have been prevented if only one of a large number of incidents had occurred differently. I would say that if only she turns and checks on the on-coming traffic the entire outcome would have been altered. There is no need to read too much too far behind. Period.

Still another one focuses on the brief but highly charged affairs between Benjamin and a British spy's wife. It is ironical that a spy didn't pick up any sign or signal from his "radar" that his wife was fooling around. While he is checking our the enemies, his wife is checking out Benjamin. And like any spy, she disappeared quietly too.

Lastly, it is the part that Benjamin left Daisy and his daughter. When a person is growing younger and watches their child growing older, it can cause fear and, while Benjamin explains his honest belief that what he is doing is right, it seems to be the worst thing he could do at the time. Even looking back and seeing he might have been right in this important decision, it still seems selfish as he continues his life free from the responsibilities he should be bearing. Ironically, he did exactly what his father did years ago - abandoning the child.

Lessons learnt from the movie:

1. It doesn’t make any difference whether you live your life backwards or forwards; it’s how you live your life. Choose your guiding principles wisely and live by purpose.

2. You have people and things for a certain amount of time, and then you have to be okay with letting go. You can take what you can from it while it’s here, but it’s never yours. Time can be cruel or kind to different people at different times. The only way to walk this journey is with an open heart and thankful spirit. Open to recieve, thankful when let go.

3. There was never a pity party for Benjamin. So must we. Learn to love yourself and appreciated the fact that you are different but never let your handicaps stop you from doing or achieving what you want to achieve in life.

4. I am reminded that love goes beyond age and beauty. It involves a connection between individuals. I will seek to build and nourish that connection with my loved ones, and significant others.

5. Benjamin learns how to let go and not to cling to anyone. But more importantly, to cherish those that are still around us. An old lady in the retirement home told him "We're meant to lose the people we love. How else will we know how much they meant to us?" For that, I would add that he who lost much, love much.

6. I have learned the most, strangely, from this odd duck called Captain Mike. His famous wisdom was in his dialouge with Benjamin, and I quote, "You can be as mad as a mad dog at the way things went. You could swear, curse the fates, but when it comes to the end, you have to let go." Atlas, letting go. Something so important yet so difficult to practise, isn't it?

7. I have learned to enjoy watching sunrise. I will make plans to do it at least once every year.

8. I have learned the importance of one-to-one bonding, through late night kitchen rendezvous. I will schedule regular tea or coffee time with my wife after my boy boy falls asleep. Ritualizing routines rekindle romance! For me, dating my wife all over again is not only necessary, but essential! Remember this 4 'R's :) but do it with the right woman, okay :P

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button reminds us that the best thing we can do is make the most of our journey and be thankful for the people we meet along the way. It's all a gift. Benjamin embodies the zest for life described in one of my favorite quotations by Diane Ackerman:

"The great affair, the love affair with life, is to live as variously as possible, to groom one's curiosity like a high-spirited thoroughbred, climb aboard, and gallop over the thick, sunstruck hills every day. . . It began as mystery, and it will end in mystery, but what a savage and beautiful country lies in between."

Benjamin also reminds us that life is what we make of it - no matter how different we may be from what people expect, no matter who leaves us breaking our heart, or doesn’t choose us because of how we look. Instead, life is just moments to be enjoyed, a story to be told. Take things as they come and you can always learn something new no matter how old, or in this case young, you may get.

The best part of life doesn't just came at the beginning, nor the worst part at the end. I see Benjamin's journey as a privilege, just like mine. If he did not consider and consent that he's got the worst of both worlds, we should not.

Believe.
Press on and live.
Fight against the odds.
Rest if you must, but don't stop.

Carpediem - Seize the Day! (and time as well!)

Credit Suisse's Prediction Bad for SPGs

I read from the Straits Times today that according to a new report from Credit Suisse, it was predicted that an astonishing 300,000 jobs could be lost in Singapore this year and next. Most of the workers to lose jobs would be foreigners, who...would then have to leave Singapore, which...would then lead to a decline in Singapore's population.

Less foreigners can be bad news for a lot of things here, among them, our SPGs (aka Sarong Party Girls). In the first place, I am not even sure if there is going to be a lot of partying going forward in the light of the economic crisis. They can still keep their sarongs, though...No? You mean their boyfriends also steal it and bring home with them?

You see, soon, many SPGs' "ang-moh" boyfriends will be leaving Singapore, some for good. Some just leave. Some leave a mess. Our SPGs have a few choices: Follow them whenever their boyfriends go, no more boyfriends, or find new ones. Life goes on, right, girls?

But I am afraid the party music may be fading.

You see, those foreigners who missed the axe, the remaining few (aka "remainers"), will most likely have their pay slashed, their work hours lengthened due to fewer colleagues in the office, or just covering that poor bastard that got axe hours ago.

These "remainers" will be pressured to work hard and not screw up the tiniest bit, least their turn to get chopped. So they work harder, come in earlier (which means no more late nights at the pubs with you SPGs), more on the ball during work time (means no more long lunches with you SPGs) or some secret escapee here and there during work hours.

In short, those remainers will have little or no time for their SPGs girlfriends.

In addition, the remainers will probably cut down on their use-to-be heavy spendings, on themselves? No! On their SPGs of course! Less flowers, less or no more Tiffany (Poh Heng may be a good alternative since gold price is quite soft now, among other things, you know), less high-end restaurants.

On the contrary, these remainers may have to downgrade from condos to HDBs, from private clubs to public pools, cars to motorcycles, gym memberships to a jog in Bishan Park. They may even consider the possibility of "digging" into the reserves of ...thier SPGs. Afterall, they should have some reserve right, shouldn't they? Most of them have enjoyed all-expensed-paid-for dates and trips. They should have some savings, hopefully. Savings is a no-brainer thingy, you know what I mean. Or did they just saved the underwears and polo-shirts of their boyfriends at home only? Not much worth though...

But all is not lost, my dear SPGs. You see, your current "ang-moh" boyfriends will not have the flare and fare to woo other SPGs liao. He will have no choice but to stick with the current loser SPG, till the next one is available. He will be less incline to have more than one "pet" because cat food is expansive! No pounds and pennies, no pets and pussies. After all, the SPGs are just their extra-curriculum activities, and extra curriculum needs extra...CASH! That can be done away for the time being.

Another good news for the SPGs. Since oil price is still low, and travel costs have drastically decreased, what better time than now to go buy a ticket on-line and fly to your boyfriends homeland, whenever it may be. Less SPGs here may not be a bad idea after all, and you will be the exotic foreign talent elsewhere. Good bye, and good luck to you. You won't be missed.

Okay, I may be joking about this whole thing at the expense of my expat friends. I apologise. If you are reading this, I hope it does not imply you. I just can't help letting my mind wonder off to the absurd eventuality as I ponder about my usual daily readings. It is not personal. Don't kill me even it is true about your life right now, whether you are that expat or the ...SPG!

Father and Son

I try to be a good father. Give my son everything he needs. Pay for his phonics class. Take him and mom out for fine dining. Have yearly photo shoots... etc...

But compared with Dick Hoyt, I suck.

You see, eighty-five times he's pushed his disabled son, Rick, 26.2 miles (41.92 km) in marathons. Eight times he's not only pushed him 26.2 miles in a wheelchair but also towed him 2.4 miles in a dinghy while swimming and pedaled him 112 miles in a seat on the handlebars - all in the same day.

Dick's also pulled him cross-country skiing, taken him on his back mountain climbing and once hauled him across the U.S. on a bike. Makes taking your son bowling look a little lame, right?

And what has Rick done for his father? Not much - except save his life.

This love story began in Winchester, Mass., 43 years ago, when Rick was strangled by the umbilical cord during birth, leaving him brain-damaged and unable to control his limbs.

"He'll be a vegetable the rest of his life," Dick says doctors told him and his wife, Judy, when Rick was nine months old. "Put him in an institution."

But the Hoyts weren't buying it. They noticed the way Rick's eyes followed them around the room. When Rick was 11 they took him to the engineering department at Tufts University and asked if there was anything to help the boy communicate.

"No way," Dick says he was told. "There's nothing going on in his brain."

"Tell him a joke," Dick countered. They did. Rick laughed. Turns out a lot was going on in his brain.

Rigged up with a computer that allowed him to control the cursor by touching a switch with the side of his head, Rick was finally able to communicate. First words? "Go Bruins!" And after a high school classmate was paralyzed in an accident and the school organized a charity run for him, Rick pecked out, "Dad, I want to do that."

Yeah, right. How was Dick, a self-described "porker" who never ran more than a mile at a time, going to push his son five miles? Still, he tried. "Then it was me who was handicapped," Dick says. "I was sore for two weeks."

That day changed Rick's life. "Dad," he typed, "when we were running, it felt like I wasn't disabled anymore!"

And that sentence changed Dick's life. He became obsessed with giving Rick that feeling as often as he could. He got into such hard-belly shape that he and Rick were ready to try the 1979 Boston Marathon.

"No way," Dick was told by a race official. The Hoyts weren't quite a single runner, and they weren't quite a wheelchair competitor. For a few years Dick and Rick just joined the massive field and ran anyway, then they found a way to get into the race officially. In 1983 they ran another marathon so fast they made the qualifying time for Boston the following year.
Then somebody said, "Hey, Dick, why not a triathlon?"

How's a guy who never learned to swim and hadn't ridden a bike since he was six going to haul his 110-pound kid through a triathlon? Still, Dick tried.

Now they've done 212 triathlons, including four grueling 15-hour Ironmans in Hawaii. It must be a buzzkill to be a 25-year-old stud getting passed by an old guy towing a grown man in a dinghy, don't you think?

Hey, Dick, why not see how you'd do on your own? "No way," he says. Dick does it purely for "the awesome feeling" he gets seeing Rick with a cantaloupe smile as they run, swim and ride together.

This year, at ages 65 and 43, Dick and Rick finished their 24th Boston marathon, in 5,083rd place out of more than 20,000 starters. Their best time? Two hours, 40 minutes in 1992 - only 35 minutes off the world record, which, in case you don't keep track of these things, happens to be held by a guy who was not pushing another man in a wheelchair at the time.

"No question about it," Rick types. "My dad is the Father of the Century."

And Dick got something else out of all this too. Two years ago he had a mild heart attack during a race. Doctors found that one of his arteries was 95% clogged. "If you hadn't been in such great shape," one doctor told him, "you probably would've died 15 years ago."

So, in a way, Dick and Rick saved each other's life.

Rick, who has his own apartment (he gets home care) and works in Boston, and Dick, retired from the military and living in Holland, Mass., always find ways to be together. They give speeches around the country and compete in some backbreaking race every weekend, including this Father's Day.

That night, Rick will buy his dad dinner, but the thing he really wants to give him is a gift he can never buy.

"The thing I'd most like, "is that my dad sit in the chair and I push him once."

By Rick ReillySports Illustrated
- Used with permission

Dick and Rick Hoyt have a book and DVD. To learn more about this very special father and son team go to: www.teamhoyt.com

"Claypot" Laksa?

I dined out at the Food Republic (Vivo City) last night, and had a really interesting encounter with this stall that sell one of our favourite local dish - LAKSA!

The signboard read: "Claypot Laksa: $6.90"

Wow! That's steep for a bowl of almighy but ubiquitous laksa, I thought.

Wait a minute, I just had one last week near Katong, for a mere $4.00. Served in a plastic bowl.

But wait another minute, I also just had a bowl of Laksa last last week near my good old neighbourhood coffeeshop, for... $3.00. Sadly, it was also served in plastic bowl.

So now I understand:

Between Laksa and "Katong" Laksa, the different is $1. (or the real different is actually just the word "Katong")

Okay, now between "claypot" laksa and "Katong" Laksa, the different is ... $2.90 !!! (or the real different is just the word "claypot")

Now it set me wondering:

1. Does laksa really taste better in claypot? I doubt so.
2. Does eating Laksa in Katong cost $1 or 2 more?
3. Will it be cheaper if it is Sengkang Laksa?
4. Must I pay more if my Laksa is prepared elsewhere, but sell and served in Katong?

I am sure by now you get what I am hitting :)

No no... is it really better if it is actually "COOKED" in a claypot?? I doubt so too.

So, those diners that paid $6.90 for that touted bowl of heavenly milk noodle is actually paying for the container (claypot) ... yeah ... just the vessel that hold the ordinary, everyhwere-available laksa. I find it laughable and pathetic.

Remember: Anything that is written "Claypot" is not really that "Claypot"... if you know what I mean.

Laksa in a claypot does little to enhance the flavour. It does enhance the bottomline for the laksa seller though...that I am very certain.

What a ripped-off!!!

Buy Term and Invest the Rest - Where is the Value?

This has been a much debated topic in the financial planning arena since don't know when. As a student and practitioner of financial planning, I am challenged to constantly find a balance in the way I build my convictions on such financial matters. Times change, and with it many variables and components.

A whole life insurance plan that was touted by agents to offer 6-7% returns p.a. no longer holds true. We have to live with the reality that a participating plan (such as a whole life policy) now offers a dismal return of just over 3% - and that's is NOT even guaranteed okay!

Insurance companies are finding it harder to offer higher bonuses and dividends over the last 10 years. Yields have come off drastically. Inflation, on the other hand, is pushing vigilently upward. Things are getting more expensive, with little or no sign of abating. Your savings in the bank is strinking. "Eroding" in value is a better word, technically.

It is against this new or pressing backdrops that I re-evaluated my positions on "Buy Term and Invest the Rest" (BTITR). You see, life is limited, so are its resources. I am talking about income. In financial planning matters, the concept of "income" takes centre stage to and for me. Without income, you are out. Period. Income, income, income. Personal income. Generated by yourself by your hands and with your time. Pocket money from parents, grand-parents and god-parents don't count - we are adults already!

Just this morning during my usual routine run and breakfast with my esteemed associate, Wayne Koh, we talked about the topic on BTITR. We both agree that in current environment, BTITR seems to offer more appeal. Rather than leaving your money totally to the insurance companies, you deconstruct your portfolio allocation and reconstruct your own strategies and approach.

What is BTITR?

Simply, it is separating protection from participation. It is investment without involvement. It is leaving protection to the insurance specialist and investment to the professional fund managers. Let me explain in simple terms.

Protection without participation
When you buy a whole life plan, the plans are usually called "participating policies" - they participate in the returns of the life funds. Life funds is the place where insurance companies invest what is remain from the premiums collected, after commissions and overheads. They invest the funds in a broad range of diversified assets, and then declared a return to policyholders each year. Claims are made out from the life funds too, and hence the funds are not supposed to be subjected to risky investments for fear of high volatility and threats of inability to meet future claims.

When you buy term, the plans are usually called "non-participating policies" - they DO NOT participate in the returns of the life funds. You pay for protection only. Period. No returns. No strings attached. You choose how much and how long you need the coverage. Then the only liability on your part is paying the premium. It is cheap, dirt cheap. When I was a tied agent many years ago, my manager called it "Poor man insurance". Even the poor can afford it.

I call it "Wise man insurance" - Only the wise will purchase it. Buy it for its worth and value. Let me explain later.

Investment without involvement
Now, since term insurance is cheaper, way cheaper, there will be excess cash appeared from "unused" or "un-expensed" premium. Truth is, for the same amount of sum assured, say $300,000, you pay $1,800 p.a., compared to a whole life plan, which cost around $8,700. I am using a 35 year-old male, non-smoker. That's a whopping $6,900 difference. Now, what do you or can you do with this difference call "the rest"? Invest it, of course.

In this manner, you start to explore ways to park this excess cashflow. You terminate your cashflow's involvement with the insurance company's life funds and her fate or rate of returns. Haha...fate of returns, what an appropriate slip of tongue. Therefore, it is considered investment without involvement. Hence, BTITR.

Is it true? Yes!
Is it better? Depends!!

It depends on what you DO with the rest of the unused money. If invested carefully, you will outperform the life funds, with the flexibility of choosing your own portfolio of assets and not to mention the benefits of not needing to stick around with a whole life policy for at least 20-25 years before the cash value becomes visible and mature enough for withdrawal.

Yes, it is true and it can be better.

For those who need to see discreet numbers, please refer to my buddy and esteemed associate, Wayne Koh, and his notes in his blog - http://www.waynekoh.com/2008/07/btitr.html

More ideas later, okay. You must wait if you want good stuff. I don't get paid for writing, okay! Just kidding :)

Coming up next - Recommended Allocation for BTITR.

Peak Performers

One of the wonderful by-products of high self-esteem is that you become a “Peak Performer”.

Everyday you become more aware of your abilities and recognize that opportunities to stretch your capabilities are limitless. You desire change, growth and challenge, and a healthy self-esteem provides the energy.

Peak performers have more than goals, they have a vision of what their life will mean to themselves and others. Peak performers do not live in the future. Peak performers make sure each step taken in the present keeps them on the road toward their life goal.

Peak Performers can say:

I am motivated and have a mission with realistic and measurable goals.
I accept complete responsibility for everything I think, say, feel and do.
I look for the window of opportunity in every situation and know that I will learn from every experience if I choose.
I always help others to do their best, and I encourage everyone to contribute something.
I correct my course when I reach an obstacle. This way, when things go wrong, I am still headed in the right direction.
I expect and appreciate change. It does not overwhelm me because I am prepared.
I stand up for my own opinions and values and respect others.
I am able to manage myself. I do not require instruction every step of the way. I take initiative to act first instead of been asked.
I am not afraid of making mistakes or of taking reasonable risks.
I am my own coach. I engage in positive self-talk and rehearsals.
I am a life-long student. I am always ready to learn, and I know growth takes sustained effort.
I know myself well and still expect to find hidden talents, resources, strengths, weaknesses, energy, and interests.
I respect reality both pleasant and painful.
I engage in self-confrontation and do not blame others.
I readily forgive others and myself and correct mistakes when possible.
I am patient, kind, gentle and compassionate with myself.
I have no need to prove I am better or worse than anybody else.
I can be quiet and alone and not feel lonely because I have learned to enjoy silent and solitude as a platform for renewal and revival.
I am thankful for the good and the bad situations that present themselves daily, knowing that they toughen the character and inner man.
I take both the simple things and the classy stuffs in life with gratitude.
I dare to dream big, audacious dreams, and color them with impossible shades.
I am secured in my identity as a fearfully and wonderfully made creation of God.
I live to the fullest every minute, with depth and enthusiasm, for the Lord.


Who am I?
I am Eagleboy.
I am a Child of God.
I am a Peak Performer.

I am Rich!

"I have never been a millionaire. But I have enjoyed a crackling fire, a glorious sunset, a walk with a friend and a hug from a child. There are plenty of life's tiny delights for all of us."

Jack Anthony
American Author

I am rich, indeed :)

I am rich beyond measure...because:
Because I can enjoy the coolness of my air-conditioned room at home (when the nights are warm and humid), as compared to Jack who lives in cold-climate country, and therefore his crackling fire.
And because I can enjoy seeing a sunset with my eyes almost any day of the week, any week.
And because I can have as many walks and chat with friends, as my legs are still strong.
And because, simply because, I can have a hug from my loved ones daily, tells me that I can feel and I am alive!

I am rich, indeed! :)

Fear of Poverty?

You are going to let the fear of poverty govern your life and your reward will be that you will eat, but you will not live.

George Bernard Shaw

Live Well, Laugh Often & Love Much

Today I want to share a personal perspective with you. Someone had the opportunity to spend time with a close female friend. Within months, she will no longer be with us.

Her last visit to her doctor's office was, in fact, her last visit to her doctor's office. The doctor told her to go home, "get her house in order", and spend her time with family and friends. There is nothing more that can be done.

She is 42 years young. She will leave behind three young children, a loving husband and many friends.

She has been cheated.

She wanted more out of life.

Don't we all?

She thought that she was going to live a very long time. Obviously, we know we are going to die; we just think that it will happen later in life.

This entry may have an undertone of sadness. My purpose, however, is not to tell you a sad story, but to motivate you to begin leading the life you want now because we don't know what the future will hold.

What would you do if you knew your time was limited to a few short weeks or months or years?

Whom would you call?
Where would you travel?
What would you say to your loved ones and family members that you may not have already said?
Most importantly, what will you leave behind and how will you be remembered?

Take some time to consider these questions.

Then begin today to lead the life you want. Create and fulfill goals, eat right, exercise more. And don't forget the best advice I can give - I see this daily on a plaque in my home:

Live Well, Laugh Often and Love Much!

What is Time?

How do I view time? Where is my perspective? How do I value or measure it?

Someone once wrote that time is like credit in the bank ... blah blah blah...remember that story?
Everyday, this bank account of yours get an automatic credit of 24hrs X 60min X 60sec = $86,400 worth of seconds...I will go find that article and put it up here later.

Another of my friend believe that life is short and time is precious. So she frantically try to live it to the fullest.

So where is my perspective as far as time is concern?
Fleeting? Brief? Lost? Stolen? Precious? Irreplaceable? Short? Money? Limited?

Throughout centuries and generations, philosophers, scientists, kings and ordinary folks have written, discussed and studied this illusive concept and construct call time.
But what does the Creator and Master of all time and space and eternity has to say about it?
Where is God in this equation of time?

Of course if you believe in this God that I know, time is of no issue to Him, only to us, mere mortals. I personally believe that even with modern medical breakthrough, human livespan can only be calibrated around 75-85 years. Beyond these boundaries lies disabilities and despair, weakness and worries, limitations and liabilities. In fact, I may believe that men can add years to their life but not life to their years. So why seek extension of life, medically and artificially?

According to a Christian bookmark I have, Time is defined as:

"A limited resources extended only by giving the first part back to God".

"Honour the Lord ... with the firstfruits of all thine increase: So shall thy barns be filled with plenty... "
- Proverbs 3:9-10

I believe time is given to us as a valuable platform to enjoy doing His will. A dimension that can be altered by offering it back to God who is in charge.

May I find my time here on earth extended and expanded for His will and glory.

An Enemy Called Reality

My greatest enemy is reality. I have fought it successfully for thirty years.

- Margaret Anderson

Character Through Trials

Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved

-Helen Keller

7 Basic Life Principles

The Principle of Design:
Thanking God for your design enables self acceptance.

The Principle of Authority:
Honouring your authorities brings inward peace.

The Principle of Responsibility:
Asking for forgiveness reaps a clear conscience.

The Principle of Suffering:
Fully forgiving others brings genuine joy.

The Principle of Ownership:
Yielding your rights to God brings true security.

The Principle of Freedom:
Reclaiming areas controlled by sins brings moral purity.

The Principle of Success:
Meditating on Scriptures reveals life's purpose.

Isn't these what we need and want?

Until the Day's Out

"Measure not the work until the day's out and the labor done."

Elizabeth Barrett Browning
(1806-1861)
English poet

True Brilliance is...

True brilliance is not a function of understanding one's view of the world and finding order, logic, and spirituality in it.

True brilliance is understanding that your view of order, logic, and spirituality is what created your world. And therefore being forever capable of changing everything.

Got the view now?

Happiness or Unhappiness?

"I am more and more convinced that our happiness or our unhappiness depends far more on the way we meet the events of life than on the nature of those events themselves."

Karl Wilhelm Von Humboldt
1767-1835,
German Statesman

2007 is Almost Gone!

2007 is going...going...gone!

And my question is: Will I achieve the goals I have set for 2008? Right now is the perfect time to assess the past year and set new goals for 2008. Regretably, many times I have set goals only to find myself 1/4, 1/2 or even 3/4 of the way through the year with little or no progress toward those goals.

One simple goal I just pick up (again) is journalling. Yes, putting things down in writing. Indiana Jones' father had one; Mohd Ghandi had one. Ahraham Lincoln had one. I bet even their fahers had one too. EagleBoy must have one too!

Among the many things I learned, my mentor told me back in 1998 that winners keep score. Winners track their performance. Winners chart progress. Just one thing: Keep the right scores!!!

Qn: How to keep scores if you don't deliberately store your scores?
Ans: A journal!

So here I am, back to the good good days of writing a journal. But I am not alone in this arena. I have found someone who shared the same passion with me. I have a model and a fellow believer. And I have placed 4 of his quotes below:

"There are three things to leave behind: your photographs, your library and your personal journals. These things are certainly going to be more valuable to future generations than your furniture (and money)!"
-Jim Rohn

"Don't use your mind for a filing cabinet. Use your mind to work out problems and find answers; file away good ideas in your journal."
-Jim Rohn

"The reason why I spend so much money for my journals is to press me to find something valuable to put in them."
-Jim Rohn

"Be a collector of good ideas, but don't trust your memory. The best collecting place for all of the ideas and information that comes your way is your journal."
-Jim Rohn

So, the pen is still mightier that the sword, huh?