Vows. Promises. Word of Honour. We are familiar with them. We would have made some vows, some promises and words of honour at various times of our lives to various people: Our spouses, our employers, our country (through the pledge), even our parents and friends.
Question is: What is the real significance when we uttered those vows and promises? Is it still relevant in the modern 21st century where people no longer take their vows and promises seriously in the light of a self-serving environment? Yes, ours is the proverbial “I’ll do my best, but NO PROMISES…” Sounds familiar? You just hate it when someone disclaimed their liabilities and make light their expectation to deliver. In other words, is there a wow factor in the vow anymore in these age?
I believe there is meaning and purpose behind every well-crafted vow and promise. It is the purpose behind these words that give them significance. Essentially, it is an agreement and determination to be true and stay true. The Bible calls this consecration. Set aside. To be given priority. To be held above all else.
Is this mentality the driving force of your vows and promises – to be true and stay true? Even when the circumstances when you made those vows have changed? I drew inspirations from the sermon I heard 2 week ago about the Nazirite vow. The nature might be different but I think the application is the same.
Recently, I heard and witnessed a lot of couples struggling to keep their marriage intact and in place. Some resented their spouse. Some rejected each other already. Some get distracted by third parties and abandoned their first love. Some claimed that they have tried and exhausted all means for reconciliation.
Bullshit!
Excuses!!
Liars!!!!!!!
Truth is: They just don't want to...
Some becomes outlaws with their in-laws. Joking still, some said, "Divorce? Never! Murder? Maybe!" Husbands and wives stayed on the lifeless marriage because of the house, the kids, the finances, even ...the dog. Sad but true. How to salvage?
I believe we need to return to the very first altar when things began. Go back to the history. Why we get together in the first place? Let’s examine the basic tenets of the vow and then cast it against the backdrop of our marital vow.
A. It is all about BEING DEDICATED TO
When one make a vow (to a spouse), it is meant to be wholly dedicated to him or her. Or in another version, says “to belong to in a special way”. There are 4 possible reasons why someone would dedicate to another as spouse:
To make a ransom demand: “I dedicate myself to you, and you MUST DO THIS AND THIS….” A spouse-napper.
To gain a reward: “I dedicate myself to you so that you WILL GIVE ME…OR I WANT THIS….” A Things-Lover.
To repay a favour: “I dedicate myself to you because you HAVE DONE THIS FOR ME…..........” A grateful-partner.
A committed love response: “I dedicate myself to you because I want to bless you and make your joy my No.1 priority”.
A True Lover.
Don’t be a Things-Lover or Spouse-napper.
B. It is all about BEING SEPARATED FROM
When you study it, the Marriage Vow has at least 4 interesting features:
1. It is unique and exclusive. (Forsaking all, be faithful to ONE)
2. It is public. (In the presence of God and these witnesses…)
3. It is costly. (In sickness or health, through good/ bad times, for better/ worst, in plenty/ in want…no matter come what may… )
4. It is temporal. (as in till death do us part and be re-united when Christ returns)
Don’t let anything come in between the marriage. The union is non-negotiable. Divorce is not an option. Don’t make convenient excuses and look for way out at the very first sign of trouble. That is the summation of the vows. Being “separated from” others to be “alone with” each other.
C. It is all about BEING DESTINED FOR
When two individuals got married, the two shall become one. Problems start when the couples ask, “Which one”? Answer: Christ. That is the eventual destiny of the couple. One for another, both for the LORD (these were the words engraved on the inside of our wedding bands). There is a higher upward agenda then just mastering transitions from young married to old grandparents. When both couple seeks to draw near and imitate Christ, the two shall become spiritually one, not just mere physical or mental or social oneness. The vow seeks unity and oneness in Christ.
Inadvertently, when the vow is threatened or broken, I believe God has made provision for reinstatement, through a journey of healing and restoration by grace through faith and scriptures. I will not dwell on inner healing here. The main focus here is the centrality of the vow.
For young couples starting out, remember the vow you took. They are sacred. Don't lose sight.
For older couples who are struggling, remember the vow you took. Consecrate yourself anew and afresh to each other. Don't lose hope. Don’t give up, or give in to temptations. Be willing to pay the price, any price, to finish well.
Go.
Press on.
Dedicate yourself to God.
Consecrate your marriage again.
The goal is to not just start but finish well.
The bumps on the road are what we climb on to progress.
A good and strong marriage takes lots of effort and sacrifice….and… it is worth everything.
King of the Birds, Lord of the Skies
Gather ye rose buds while ye may, old time is still a flying;
and this same rose that you see today, tomorrow will be dying.
CarpeDiem: Seize the Day!
- Dead Poets Society
Showing posts with label Love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Love. Show all posts
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Valentine's Day
I came across this heart warming article about love, and although Valentine's Day is over, it is a good reminder and reflection of what love looks like in and from the eyes on these young ones. And as usual, this is my gift of words to you.
*******************************************************************************
When Children Ages 4-8 were asked What Love Is
'When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love.'
Rebecca - age 8
'When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.'
Billy - age 4
'Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.'
Karl - age 5
'Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.'
Chrissy - age 6
'Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.'
Terri - age 4
'Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.'
Danny - age 7
'Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss'
Emily - age 8
'Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.'
Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)
'If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate.'
Nikka - age 6 (we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)
'Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.'
Noelle - age 7
'Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.'
Tommy - age 6
'During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore.'
Cindy - age 8
'My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.'
Clare - age 6
'Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.'
Elaine-age 5
'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.'
Chris - age 7
'Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day..'
Mary Ann - age 4
'I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.'
Lauren - age 4
'When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.' (what an image)
Karen - age 7
'You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it But if you mean it, you should say it a lot.. People forget.'
Jessica - age 8
And the final one:
The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said,
'Nothing, I just helped him cry'
******************************************************************************
Wow, listen to this 4-year-old boy! He understood what many adults (men) don't - Tears. I wrote a song for my wife some time ago. There was this one line that says, "Every time I hear you cry, I'll cry with you."
It was Orid who wrote that "Tears are sometimes more eloquent than words." Orid, 43 BC - AD 17.
Well, Valentine's Day comes and goes each year, and so is life. But what make this life so special is the relationship and bonds we built over time, each and every time, even after we are long gone. Our children sees the love that we shared among us, and learn to love. And who says that only we can teach them how to love?
We need love's tender lessons taught,
As only weakness can;
God hath His small interpreters,
The child must teach the man.
-Author unknown
Happy Valentine's Day!
*******************************************************************************
When Children Ages 4-8 were asked What Love Is
'When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love.'
Rebecca - age 8
'When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.'
Billy - age 4
'Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.'
Karl - age 5
'Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.'
Chrissy - age 6
'Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.'
Terri - age 4
'Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.'
Danny - age 7
'Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss'
Emily - age 8
'Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.'
Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)
'If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate.'
Nikka - age 6 (we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)
'Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.'
Noelle - age 7
'Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.'
Tommy - age 6
'During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore.'
Cindy - age 8
'My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.'
Clare - age 6
'Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.'
Elaine-age 5
'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.'
Chris - age 7
'Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day..'
Mary Ann - age 4
'I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.'
Lauren - age 4
'When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.' (what an image)
Karen - age 7
'You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it But if you mean it, you should say it a lot.. People forget.'
Jessica - age 8
And the final one:
The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said,
'Nothing, I just helped him cry'
******************************************************************************
Wow, listen to this 4-year-old boy! He understood what many adults (men) don't - Tears. I wrote a song for my wife some time ago. There was this one line that says, "Every time I hear you cry, I'll cry with you."
It was Orid who wrote that "Tears are sometimes more eloquent than words." Orid, 43 BC - AD 17.
Well, Valentine's Day comes and goes each year, and so is life. But what make this life so special is the relationship and bonds we built over time, each and every time, even after we are long gone. Our children sees the love that we shared among us, and learn to love. And who says that only we can teach them how to love?
We need love's tender lessons taught,
As only weakness can;
God hath His small interpreters,
The child must teach the man.
-Author unknown
Happy Valentine's Day!
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
8 Lessons I learnt from "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button"
"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards" - Soren Kierkegaard(words that appear in the movie trailer)
Time : 2 hrs and 47 min
Theatre : Orchard Cineleisure
Ticket price : $8
The themes centre on love, time, aging, youth, changes, death, the impermanence of life and the reality of relationships and bonds that last a lifetime.
Mark Twain once wrote: “Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of 80 and gradually approach 18.” In a way, it is like saying "youth is wasted on the young". Upon this quote a story was born (a story written by F. Scott Fitzgerald) and thereafter a movie was made.
For me, this is an epic tale that makes one contemplate the wonders of life, of birth and death, and most of all, love. It touches on questions we ask ourselves and choices we opt over the course of a lifetime. The backbone of this story is the developing relationship between 2 individuals, Benjamin and Daisy. And the plot is the tension that brews as Daisy grows older while Benjamin becomes younger each and every day.
I am deeply awed by the way the movie unfolds itself. The story begins in New Orleans at the end of WW1 in 1918 with the unveiling of a giant clock in the grand central train station. The clock runs backward in memory of the fallen soldiers who will never know a future. It was a heart-broken scene. He was a father, and so am I. I can identify his heartbeat.
Lets look at the individuals. They all represent something to me.
The central, emotional core of the movie is, of course, Benjamin Button (Brad Pitt). He represents for me a man, like anyone of us, who is unable to stop time or reverse it (unlike the clock-maker). However, he is also a man who has a life unlike any others. An extraordinary life journey. His is the odd condition that makes him grow younger instead of older.
Interestingly, just like the story of Forrest Gump, a sense of wonder is a trademark of Benjamin's personality. From start to finish, this character tries to be himself, accepting his flaws and celebrating his strengths as a human being: "It's never too late or too early to be whoever you want to be."
Daisy (Blanchett) represents the life of anyone too caught up in the drama and excitement of career and friends (the artistic kind). More importantly, she embodies a woman, who has to make peace with the idea of growing older while the person she loves is getting younger. She represents everybody's common fear of growing old, and losing the ability to maintain or hold on to life's various positions and demands.
Queenie (the woman who adopted Benjamin) gives the story it’s grace and warmth. Her unconditional love toward Benjamin and others is breathtaking. In fact, she is probably the only woman who ever really deserves Benjamin's love. She is the true heart and soul behind Benjamin’s story and without her it would never have carried the emotional weight it reached. She represents our parents or folks who love us unconditionally, and have a genuine interest in our well-being, without any selfish personal agenda.
Thomas Button (Benjamin's father) represents a kind of successful but lonely man in this world, and eventually an old man who is dying and wants to reconnect with the boy he ditched years ago. Thankfully, instead of showing anger or seeking revenge, Benjamin treats him with kindly compassion for he has come to realize that death is a tender moment that must be treated with respect and dignity.
Some segments of the story that deserved contemplations due to their ironical prepositions:
One of these is when he turns away Daisy as she makes sexual advances towards him while the two are in their 20th years of their lives. With her at the age of 20s and him physically closer to 60 it was a sweet and poignant decision on his part. Later, when they are closer to the same age (both in their 40s), he does not reject her advances proving he was wiser about when to accept her into his arms then instead of when she was at the younger, more foolish age.
Another focuses on the part that preaches the belief of fate. There is a line of dialogue that states our lives are predetermined and you go where fate takes you. Much like chaos theory in reasoning. The scene describes an accident that could have been prevented if only one of a large number of incidents had occurred differently. I would say that if only she turns and checks on the on-coming traffic the entire outcome would have been altered. There is no need to read too much too far behind. Period.
Still another one focuses on the brief but highly charged affairs between Benjamin and a British spy's wife. It is ironical that a spy didn't pick up any sign or signal from his "radar" that his wife was fooling around. While he is checking our the enemies, his wife is checking out Benjamin. And like any spy, she disappeared quietly too.
Lastly, it is the part that Benjamin left Daisy and his daughter. When a person is growing younger and watches their child growing older, it can cause fear and, while Benjamin explains his honest belief that what he is doing is right, it seems to be the worst thing he could do at the time. Even looking back and seeing he might have been right in this important decision, it still seems selfish as he continues his life free from the responsibilities he should be bearing. Ironically, he did exactly what his father did years ago - abandoning the child.
Lessons learnt from the movie:
1. It doesn’t make any difference whether you live your life backwards or forwards; it’s how you live your life. Choose your guiding principles wisely and live by purpose.
2. You have people and things for a certain amount of time, and then you have to be okay with letting go. You can take what you can from it while it’s here, but it’s never yours. Time can be cruel or kind to different people at different times. The only way to walk this journey is with an open heart and thankful spirit. Open to recieve, thankful when let go.
3. There was never a pity party for Benjamin. So must we. Learn to love yourself and appreciated the fact that you are different but never let your handicaps stop you from doing or achieving what you want to achieve in life.
4. I am reminded that love goes beyond age and beauty. It involves a connection between individuals. I will seek to build and nourish that connection with my loved ones, and significant others.
5. Benjamin learns how to let go and not to cling to anyone. But more importantly, to cherish those that are still around us. An old lady in the retirement home told him "We're meant to lose the people we love. How else will we know how much they meant to us?" For that, I would add that he who lost much, love much.
6. I have learned the most, strangely, from this odd duck called Captain Mike. His famous wisdom was in his dialouge with Benjamin, and I quote, "You can be as mad as a mad dog at the way things went. You could swear, curse the fates, but when it comes to the end, you have to let go." Atlas, letting go. Something so important yet so difficult to practise, isn't it?
7. I have learned to enjoy watching sunrise. I will make plans to do it at least once every year.
8. I have learned the importance of one-to-one bonding, through late night kitchen rendezvous. I will schedule regular tea or coffee time with my wife after my boy boy falls asleep. Ritualizing routines rekindle romance! For me, dating my wife all over again is not only necessary, but essential! Remember this 4 'R's :) but do it with the right woman, okay :P
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button reminds us that the best thing we can do is make the most of our journey and be thankful for the people we meet along the way. It's all a gift. Benjamin embodies the zest for life described in one of my favorite quotations by Diane Ackerman:
"The great affair, the love affair with life, is to live as variously as possible, to groom one's curiosity like a high-spirited thoroughbred, climb aboard, and gallop over the thick, sunstruck hills every day. . . It began as mystery, and it will end in mystery, but what a savage and beautiful country lies in between."
Benjamin also reminds us that life is what we make of it - no matter how different we may be from what people expect, no matter who leaves us breaking our heart, or doesn’t choose us because of how we look. Instead, life is just moments to be enjoyed, a story to be told. Take things as they come and you can always learn something new no matter how old, or in this case young, you may get.
The best part of life doesn't just came at the beginning, nor the worst part at the end. I see Benjamin's journey as a privilege, just like mine. If he did not consider and consent that he's got the worst of both worlds, we should not.
Believe.
Press on and live.
Fight against the odds.
Rest if you must, but don't stop.
Carpediem - Seize the Day! (and time as well!)
A Valentine's Day Poem
They tell you what to eat and wear,
And how you should love and care.
So they created a day called "Valentine's",
When love becomes very blind.
They sell you roses costing ten times more,
For fifty, they'll take it to her door.
If love is measured by roses red,
What happens when they droop and fade?
Candlelight dinner you can't afford,
Can't tell her, or your status will drop.
If love is measured by where we dine,
What happens when stomach's not fine?
Fanciful costly card you must buy,
Everyone's doing it, so you don't ask why.
If love is measured by what's on a card,
What happens when words fail the heart?
Newspapers want to make money too,
Reserve love columns just for you.
If love is measured by such publicity,
What happens when faced with the ordinary?
Why let love be so commercialised,
An annual affair, reduced to a price.
Senseless competition of status and style,
By those all geared up to make a big pile.
It's the giving of yourself each day,
In the many small and simple ways.
That make you a true and precious friend,
Who will live and love till the very end.
Happy Valentine's Day :)
And how you should love and care.
So they created a day called "Valentine's",
When love becomes very blind.
They sell you roses costing ten times more,
For fifty, they'll take it to her door.
If love is measured by roses red,
What happens when they droop and fade?
Candlelight dinner you can't afford,
Can't tell her, or your status will drop.
If love is measured by where we dine,
What happens when stomach's not fine?
Fanciful costly card you must buy,
Everyone's doing it, so you don't ask why.
If love is measured by what's on a card,
What happens when words fail the heart?
Newspapers want to make money too,
Reserve love columns just for you.
If love is measured by such publicity,
What happens when faced with the ordinary?
Why let love be so commercialised,
An annual affair, reduced to a price.
Senseless competition of status and style,
By those all geared up to make a big pile.
It's the giving of yourself each day,
In the many small and simple ways.
That make you a true and precious friend,
Who will live and love till the very end.
Happy Valentine's Day :)
Sunday, February 8, 2009
In This Life - by Collin Raye
Song: In This Life
Singer: Collin Raye
For all i've been blessed with in this life
There was an emptiness in me
I was imprisoned by the power of gold
With one honest touch you set me free
Let the world stop turnin'
Let the sun stop burnin'
Let them tell me
Love's not worth goin' through
If it all falls apart
I will know deep in my heart
The only dream that mattered
Had come true
In this life i was loved by you
For every mountain i have climbed
Every raging river crossed
You were the treasure
That i longed to find
Without your love i would be lost
Let the world stop turnin'
Let the sun stop burnin'
Let them tell me
Love's not worth going through
If it all falls apart
I will know deep in my heart
The only dream that mattered
Had come true
In this life i was loved by you
In this life i was loved by you
To my beloved wife...I.N.G.
Singer: Collin Raye
For all i've been blessed with in this life
There was an emptiness in me
I was imprisoned by the power of gold
With one honest touch you set me free
Let the world stop turnin'
Let the sun stop burnin'
Let them tell me
Love's not worth goin' through
If it all falls apart
I will know deep in my heart
The only dream that mattered
Had come true
In this life i was loved by you
For every mountain i have climbed
Every raging river crossed
You were the treasure
That i longed to find
Without your love i would be lost
Let the world stop turnin'
Let the sun stop burnin'
Let them tell me
Love's not worth going through
If it all falls apart
I will know deep in my heart
The only dream that mattered
Had come true
In this life i was loved by you
In this life i was loved by you
To my beloved wife...I.N.G.
Friday, October 24, 2008
Father and Son
I try to be a good father. Give my son everything he needs. Pay for his phonics class. Take him and mom out for fine dining. Have yearly photo shoots... etc...
But compared with Dick Hoyt, I suck.
You see, eighty-five times he's pushed his disabled son, Rick, 26.2 miles (41.92 km) in marathons. Eight times he's not only pushed him 26.2 miles in a wheelchair but also towed him 2.4 miles in a dinghy while swimming and pedaled him 112 miles in a seat on the handlebars - all in the same day.
Dick's also pulled him cross-country skiing, taken him on his back mountain climbing and once hauled him across the U.S. on a bike. Makes taking your son bowling look a little lame, right?
And what has Rick done for his father? Not much - except save his life.
This love story began in Winchester, Mass., 43 years ago, when Rick was strangled by the umbilical cord during birth, leaving him brain-damaged and unable to control his limbs.
"He'll be a vegetable the rest of his life," Dick says doctors told him and his wife, Judy, when Rick was nine months old. "Put him in an institution."
But the Hoyts weren't buying it. They noticed the way Rick's eyes followed them around the room. When Rick was 11 they took him to the engineering department at Tufts University and asked if there was anything to help the boy communicate.
"No way," Dick says he was told. "There's nothing going on in his brain."
"Tell him a joke," Dick countered. They did. Rick laughed. Turns out a lot was going on in his brain.
Rigged up with a computer that allowed him to control the cursor by touching a switch with the side of his head, Rick was finally able to communicate. First words? "Go Bruins!" And after a high school classmate was paralyzed in an accident and the school organized a charity run for him, Rick pecked out, "Dad, I want to do that."
Yeah, right. How was Dick, a self-described "porker" who never ran more than a mile at a time, going to push his son five miles? Still, he tried. "Then it was me who was handicapped," Dick says. "I was sore for two weeks."
That day changed Rick's life. "Dad," he typed, "when we were running, it felt like I wasn't disabled anymore!"
And that sentence changed Dick's life. He became obsessed with giving Rick that feeling as often as he could. He got into such hard-belly shape that he and Rick were ready to try the 1979 Boston Marathon.
"No way," Dick was told by a race official. The Hoyts weren't quite a single runner, and they weren't quite a wheelchair competitor. For a few years Dick and Rick just joined the massive field and ran anyway, then they found a way to get into the race officially. In 1983 they ran another marathon so fast they made the qualifying time for Boston the following year.
Then somebody said, "Hey, Dick, why not a triathlon?"
How's a guy who never learned to swim and hadn't ridden a bike since he was six going to haul his 110-pound kid through a triathlon? Still, Dick tried.
Now they've done 212 triathlons, including four grueling 15-hour Ironmans in Hawaii. It must be a buzzkill to be a 25-year-old stud getting passed by an old guy towing a grown man in a dinghy, don't you think?
Hey, Dick, why not see how you'd do on your own? "No way," he says. Dick does it purely for "the awesome feeling" he gets seeing Rick with a cantaloupe smile as they run, swim and ride together.
This year, at ages 65 and 43, Dick and Rick finished their 24th Boston marathon, in 5,083rd place out of more than 20,000 starters. Their best time? Two hours, 40 minutes in 1992 - only 35 minutes off the world record, which, in case you don't keep track of these things, happens to be held by a guy who was not pushing another man in a wheelchair at the time.
"No question about it," Rick types. "My dad is the Father of the Century."
And Dick got something else out of all this too. Two years ago he had a mild heart attack during a race. Doctors found that one of his arteries was 95% clogged. "If you hadn't been in such great shape," one doctor told him, "you probably would've died 15 years ago."
So, in a way, Dick and Rick saved each other's life.
Rick, who has his own apartment (he gets home care) and works in Boston, and Dick, retired from the military and living in Holland, Mass., always find ways to be together. They give speeches around the country and compete in some backbreaking race every weekend, including this Father's Day.
That night, Rick will buy his dad dinner, but the thing he really wants to give him is a gift he can never buy.
"The thing I'd most like, "is that my dad sit in the chair and I push him once."
By Rick ReillySports Illustrated
- Used with permission
Dick and Rick Hoyt have a book and DVD. To learn more about this very special father and son team go to: www.teamhoyt.com
But compared with Dick Hoyt, I suck.
You see, eighty-five times he's pushed his disabled son, Rick, 26.2 miles (41.92 km) in marathons. Eight times he's not only pushed him 26.2 miles in a wheelchair but also towed him 2.4 miles in a dinghy while swimming and pedaled him 112 miles in a seat on the handlebars - all in the same day.
Dick's also pulled him cross-country skiing, taken him on his back mountain climbing and once hauled him across the U.S. on a bike. Makes taking your son bowling look a little lame, right?
And what has Rick done for his father? Not much - except save his life.
This love story began in Winchester, Mass., 43 years ago, when Rick was strangled by the umbilical cord during birth, leaving him brain-damaged and unable to control his limbs.
"He'll be a vegetable the rest of his life," Dick says doctors told him and his wife, Judy, when Rick was nine months old. "Put him in an institution."
But the Hoyts weren't buying it. They noticed the way Rick's eyes followed them around the room. When Rick was 11 they took him to the engineering department at Tufts University and asked if there was anything to help the boy communicate.
"No way," Dick says he was told. "There's nothing going on in his brain."
"Tell him a joke," Dick countered. They did. Rick laughed. Turns out a lot was going on in his brain.
Rigged up with a computer that allowed him to control the cursor by touching a switch with the side of his head, Rick was finally able to communicate. First words? "Go Bruins!" And after a high school classmate was paralyzed in an accident and the school organized a charity run for him, Rick pecked out, "Dad, I want to do that."
Yeah, right. How was Dick, a self-described "porker" who never ran more than a mile at a time, going to push his son five miles? Still, he tried. "Then it was me who was handicapped," Dick says. "I was sore for two weeks."
That day changed Rick's life. "Dad," he typed, "when we were running, it felt like I wasn't disabled anymore!"
And that sentence changed Dick's life. He became obsessed with giving Rick that feeling as often as he could. He got into such hard-belly shape that he and Rick were ready to try the 1979 Boston Marathon.
"No way," Dick was told by a race official. The Hoyts weren't quite a single runner, and they weren't quite a wheelchair competitor. For a few years Dick and Rick just joined the massive field and ran anyway, then they found a way to get into the race officially. In 1983 they ran another marathon so fast they made the qualifying time for Boston the following year.
Then somebody said, "Hey, Dick, why not a triathlon?"
How's a guy who never learned to swim and hadn't ridden a bike since he was six going to haul his 110-pound kid through a triathlon? Still, Dick tried.
Now they've done 212 triathlons, including four grueling 15-hour Ironmans in Hawaii. It must be a buzzkill to be a 25-year-old stud getting passed by an old guy towing a grown man in a dinghy, don't you think?
Hey, Dick, why not see how you'd do on your own? "No way," he says. Dick does it purely for "the awesome feeling" he gets seeing Rick with a cantaloupe smile as they run, swim and ride together.
This year, at ages 65 and 43, Dick and Rick finished their 24th Boston marathon, in 5,083rd place out of more than 20,000 starters. Their best time? Two hours, 40 minutes in 1992 - only 35 minutes off the world record, which, in case you don't keep track of these things, happens to be held by a guy who was not pushing another man in a wheelchair at the time.
"No question about it," Rick types. "My dad is the Father of the Century."
And Dick got something else out of all this too. Two years ago he had a mild heart attack during a race. Doctors found that one of his arteries was 95% clogged. "If you hadn't been in such great shape," one doctor told him, "you probably would've died 15 years ago."
So, in a way, Dick and Rick saved each other's life.
Rick, who has his own apartment (he gets home care) and works in Boston, and Dick, retired from the military and living in Holland, Mass., always find ways to be together. They give speeches around the country and compete in some backbreaking race every weekend, including this Father's Day.
That night, Rick will buy his dad dinner, but the thing he really wants to give him is a gift he can never buy.
"The thing I'd most like, "is that my dad sit in the chair and I push him once."
By Rick ReillySports Illustrated
- Used with permission
Dick and Rick Hoyt have a book and DVD. To learn more about this very special father and son team go to: www.teamhoyt.com
Friday, May 16, 2008
Love is Bestowed...
Love is always bestowed as a gift-- freely, willingly, and without expectation...We don't love to be loved; we love to love.
- Leo Buscaglia
- Leo Buscaglia
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
太美丽 by David 陶喆
To the only woman that I ever know, love and die for...here's my heart :)
歌曲：太美丽
歌手：陶喆
专辑：太美丽
每一滴眼泪
每一次心碎
什么爱能无疚无悔
不灰心等待
痛苦也忍耐
你坚持爱了就不后退
我知道我不是一个轻易就会说爱的人
没有想到这样的你却改变我
太美丽
太美丽
你的爱是多么的甜蜜
太美丽
爱让我也美丽
现在我不再怀疑
不怀疑有多爱你
每一个脚印
每一朵乌云
说着我的飘忽不定
伤你伤好深
别人早就要放弃
为何你还是会给我宽容
我知道我不是一个轻易就会说爱的人
可是你坚强的付出却改变我
太美丽
太美丽
你的爱是多么的甜蜜
太美丽
爱让我也美丽
现在你也不必再去怀疑
当你在风雨的未知里走过
当我在迷失的自我的漩涡
交汇在黑暗中你我发出了新的光芒
现在我已全明白
什么是爱的真义
太美丽
太美丽
你的爱让生命太甜蜜
太美丽
只有对你感激
越过表面我看见你
美丽的心
你最美丽
你太美丽
歌曲：太美丽
歌手：陶喆
专辑：太美丽
每一滴眼泪
每一次心碎
什么爱能无疚无悔
不灰心等待
痛苦也忍耐
你坚持爱了就不后退
我知道我不是一个轻易就会说爱的人
没有想到这样的你却改变我
太美丽
太美丽
你的爱是多么的甜蜜
太美丽
爱让我也美丽
现在我不再怀疑
不怀疑有多爱你
每一个脚印
每一朵乌云
说着我的飘忽不定
伤你伤好深
别人早就要放弃
为何你还是会给我宽容
我知道我不是一个轻易就会说爱的人
可是你坚强的付出却改变我
太美丽
太美丽
你的爱是多么的甜蜜
太美丽
爱让我也美丽
现在你也不必再去怀疑
当你在风雨的未知里走过
当我在迷失的自我的漩涡
交汇在黑暗中你我发出了新的光芒
现在我已全明白
什么是爱的真义
太美丽
太美丽
你的爱让生命太甜蜜
太美丽
只有对你感激
越过表面我看见你
美丽的心
你最美丽
你太美丽
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
The Risk of Love
The Risk of Love
(by Kris Hydmore)
There is a risk involved in everything
Every time you share a smile
Every time you shed a tear
You are opening yourself up to hurt.
Some people tread slowly through life,
Avoiding the closeness risk brings,
Side-stepping the things they can't understand
Turning away from those who care too much,
Those who care stay too long,
Those who hold too tightly.
There is never an easy way to love
You cannot approach it cautiously
It will not wait for you to arm yourself.
It does not care if you turn away
It is everywhere, it is everything.
Love is the greatest of all risks.
It is not reliable, it is not cautious,
It is not sympathetic
It is unprejudiced and unmerciliess.
It strikes the strongest of mind,
And brings them to their knees in one blow.
Even in the best of times, love hurts.
It hurts to need, it hurts to belong,
It hurts to be the other part of someone else,
Without either of your consent.
But, from the moment it overtakes you,
It hurts worse to be all alone.
The risk of love never depletes;
It grows stronger and more dangerous with time.
But, it's in the total surrender of all defense,
That we, no matter weak or strong,
No matter willing or captive,
No matter what, we truly experience love.
Despite the many things love is not,
Outweighing it all are the things that love is.
Love is surrender without a loss.
It is a gift without the cost.
It consumes your every thought & desire,
Every breath you take.
It is the fire that fuels you
To do more than pass through life;
It urges you, instead, to live.
No matter the outcome, having felt love,
You will never be the same.
It may scar your heart & soul
And Leave you only memories of forever.
Or, it may cause every day of your life
To feel like there is no need for tomorrow.
But, love is worth it.
It is worth the risk...
For in all of life,
Love is truly the only risk worth taking.
(by Kris Hydmore)
There is a risk involved in everything
Every time you share a smile
Every time you shed a tear
You are opening yourself up to hurt.
Some people tread slowly through life,
Avoiding the closeness risk brings,
Side-stepping the things they can't understand
Turning away from those who care too much,
Those who care stay too long,
Those who hold too tightly.
There is never an easy way to love
You cannot approach it cautiously
It will not wait for you to arm yourself.
It does not care if you turn away
It is everywhere, it is everything.
Love is the greatest of all risks.
It is not reliable, it is not cautious,
It is not sympathetic
It is unprejudiced and unmerciliess.
It strikes the strongest of mind,
And brings them to their knees in one blow.
Even in the best of times, love hurts.
It hurts to need, it hurts to belong,
It hurts to be the other part of someone else,
Without either of your consent.
But, from the moment it overtakes you,
It hurts worse to be all alone.
The risk of love never depletes;
It grows stronger and more dangerous with time.
But, it's in the total surrender of all defense,
That we, no matter weak or strong,
No matter willing or captive,
No matter what, we truly experience love.
Despite the many things love is not,
Outweighing it all are the things that love is.
Love is surrender without a loss.
It is a gift without the cost.
It consumes your every thought & desire,
Every breath you take.
It is the fire that fuels you
To do more than pass through life;
It urges you, instead, to live.
No matter the outcome, having felt love,
You will never be the same.
It may scar your heart & soul
And Leave you only memories of forever.
Or, it may cause every day of your life
To feel like there is no need for tomorrow.
But, love is worth it.
It is worth the risk...
For in all of life,
Love is truly the only risk worth taking.
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Love is like Bread.
Love doesn't just sit there, like a stone;
it had to be made, like bread, remade all the time, made new.
Ursula Le Guin
it had to be made, like bread, remade all the time, made new.
Ursula Le Guin
Saturday, January 12, 2008
Thursday, January 3, 2008
Recipe: How to Make Love
rec·i·pe /ˈrɛsəpi [res-uh-pee]
1. a set of instructions for preparing something, esp. a food dish;
2. a method to attain a desired end.
Dictionary.com
HOW TO MAKE LOVE - A Recipe of Love
Ingredients:
4 Laughing eyes
4 Well-shaped legs
4 Loving arms
2 Firm milk containers
2 Nuts
1 Fur-lined mixing bowl
1 Firm banana
Directions:
1. Look into laughing eyes.
2. Spread well-shaped legs with loving arms.
3. Squeeze and massage milk containers very gently.
4. Gently add firm banana to mixing bowl, working in and out until well creamed. For best results. Continue to knead milk containers.
5. As heat rises, plunge banana deep into mixing bowl and cover with nuts, leave to soak (preferably NOT overnight).
6. The cake is done when banana is soft.
If banana does not soften, repeat 4 steps 3-5 or change mixing bowls.
Notes:
1. If you are in an unfamiliar kitchen, wash utensils carefully before and after use.
2. Do not lick mixing bowl after use.
3. If cake rises, leave town.
1. a set of instructions for preparing something, esp. a food dish;
2. a method to attain a desired end.
Dictionary.com
HOW TO MAKE LOVE - A Recipe of Love
Ingredients:
4 Laughing eyes
4 Well-shaped legs
4 Loving arms
2 Firm milk containers
2 Nuts
1 Fur-lined mixing bowl
1 Firm banana
Directions:
1. Look into laughing eyes.
2. Spread well-shaped legs with loving arms.
3. Squeeze and massage milk containers very gently.
4. Gently add firm banana to mixing bowl, working in and out until well creamed. For best results. Continue to knead milk containers.
5. As heat rises, plunge banana deep into mixing bowl and cover with nuts, leave to soak (preferably NOT overnight).
6. The cake is done when banana is soft.
If banana does not soften, repeat 4 steps 3-5 or change mixing bowls.
Notes:
1. If you are in an unfamiliar kitchen, wash utensils carefully before and after use.
2. Do not lick mixing bowl after use.
3. If cake rises, leave town.
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
My Buddy Finally Married!
Today, my buddy of 28 years finally got married.
Who is he?
1. He is my son's god-pa.
2. I knew him since I was 7.
3. He is a successful lawyer.
4. He is my closest guy pal.
5. His wife was introduced to him by ME!
Who is she?
1. She was my colleague in Citibank.
2. I knew her for 5 years.
3. She has been promoted to god-ma to my son.
I am honored to be his best man today. It was a great honour to oversee his entire wedding program. The Bride arrived in a Red Ferrari, and the Groom in a Maserati. This place was Chijmes. It was breathtaking! It was a tremendous privilege to announce: "And now Ladies & Gentlemen, it gives me great honour to present to you Mr & Mrs ..."
Now, I am glad he chose her. I remembered introducing another girl to him around the same time. It didn't work out, and I am glad. Let me explain.
You see, his present wife was not a Christian 3 years ago when they met. I always believe that marriage is not just between 2 person, but between 3: Man-God-Woman. No marriage is complete without God in the picture, and God in the centre.
Things took an unusual turn when their relationship deepened over the years. She become more and more spiritually awakened until this year, when she finally opened up her heart to Jesus and became a committed believer.
Ironically, the girl that I introduced to him around the same time was actually a Christian. But I soon realised that over the years, she has become more and more ungodly and unappealing (I meant her values and outlook in life). It was a shame. She seems to have turned from good to bad, or maybe bad to worst now. His present wife, on the other hand, had become better and better. She had become more beautiful as a person over the years - a side that I have never witness till now.
I am glad it turned out well. Had he chosen the other girl, it would be disastrous. Finished! Game over... Bad company corrupts good character, and my friend of 28 years is definitely made of better stuff. The other girl will only pull him down. She is not worthy of him. He is solid gold (just like me...hee...hee...); she is gold-plated - look good outside, hollow inside.
And so, it is with great honour that I present to you, Mr & Mrs ... .
May you both not only start well, but stay well, and end well!
Who is he?
1. He is my son's god-pa.
2. I knew him since I was 7.
3. He is a successful lawyer.
4. He is my closest guy pal.
5. His wife was introduced to him by ME!
Who is she?
1. She was my colleague in Citibank.
2. I knew her for 5 years.
3. She has been promoted to god-ma to my son.
I am honored to be his best man today. It was a great honour to oversee his entire wedding program. The Bride arrived in a Red Ferrari, and the Groom in a Maserati. This place was Chijmes. It was breathtaking! It was a tremendous privilege to announce: "And now Ladies & Gentlemen, it gives me great honour to present to you Mr & Mrs ..."
Now, I am glad he chose her. I remembered introducing another girl to him around the same time. It didn't work out, and I am glad. Let me explain.
You see, his present wife was not a Christian 3 years ago when they met. I always believe that marriage is not just between 2 person, but between 3: Man-God-Woman. No marriage is complete without God in the picture, and God in the centre.
Things took an unusual turn when their relationship deepened over the years. She become more and more spiritually awakened until this year, when she finally opened up her heart to Jesus and became a committed believer.
Ironically, the girl that I introduced to him around the same time was actually a Christian. But I soon realised that over the years, she has become more and more ungodly and unappealing (I meant her values and outlook in life). It was a shame. She seems to have turned from good to bad, or maybe bad to worst now. His present wife, on the other hand, had become better and better. She had become more beautiful as a person over the years - a side that I have never witness till now.
I am glad it turned out well. Had he chosen the other girl, it would be disastrous. Finished! Game over... Bad company corrupts good character, and my friend of 28 years is definitely made of better stuff. The other girl will only pull him down. She is not worthy of him. He is solid gold (just like me...hee...hee...); she is gold-plated - look good outside, hollow inside.
And so, it is with great honour that I present to you, Mr & Mrs ... .
May you both not only start well, but stay well, and end well!
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
Saturday, November 3, 2007
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
A New Beginning, A New Journey!
Today is the 10th of Oct, 2007. Three more years from now, at 10 a.m. in the morning, it will be 10-10-10-10. Anyway, just a silly thought.
I wake up today excited. Why? Because I realised that today marks a fresh start, a new beginning, a clean break. Yesterday ended last night; today is brand new. Nothing stale, nothing leftover. Brand new, understand?
I often thought about this: We wake up in the morning but forget to leave yesterday behind. Sad, but true. Leave what's yesterday yesterday. Today is today. Symbolically, yet very practical, we have to brush our teeth again. No matter how many times we have brushed before, we need to brush once more. The past & previous brushing are not valid for today!
Yes, I want a new start; I needed one. A new beginning, a new journey. Just like my play station, there is this little button that says "Reset" or "Replay". Well, fortunate for me, today is that button. The power to reset everything new, to start all over again - to begin.
Best of all, a new destination! Commencing today, life can be different, for better or for best! And the good news is: yes, it can be for the better!!!
So, right from the start this morning (while I visited my usual holy shrine a.k.a toilet to offer my usual "offering"), I set out the following thoughts:
1. I need to know what I want, very clearly.
Not wishy-washy, or fuzzy-wuzzy. Hey my friend, that's a damn good rule for life, you know! And just as good for any marriage, my marriage! Yes, I leave no uncertainty. I will stamp my desire clearly. Let it be known. Mostly to myself.
My friend, it is a negative world out there but I choose to be positive. I want to be an achiever, an overcomer, a true winner! And I believe it's mine for the taking!!! But first, in order for me to make a new start, I must leave the old behind. New wine needs new wine skins. Otherwise, as the wine matures, the old skins have no more stretch in them and will burst. Then all is lost.
2. I need a new mind set.
That's what I am aiming for today. Don't you know that nothing actually enters your life without first entering your mind? In a way, it becomes stored as part of your database. All decisions are first checked & tallied with this database, like my spell-checker in the Microsoft Word program. In a sense, the database means you have already pre-decided.
Anyhow, mindset change is a bit hard and difficult if you don't know what you like to change to. A new mind set is easily said than done, because it takes real hard effort to correct warp thinking. Just like puppy love (or guppy love). Have you ever experience this strange feeling of liking someone when you are in your early teens, say back in Primary 5? You think you are in love. You think that love will last. But today, you look back and laugh about it because it didn't.
By the way: what's love?
Someone said that love is a feeling you feel when you felt it. For me, I feel nothing now. Love is more than a feeling! It's a decision!! And between me and my better half, it is more than a decision - it's a covenant. A covenant is an agreement built on trust. Some married couple's marriage is a contract. A contract is an agreement built on mistrust!!! Sad, but true. Think about that. Does anybody know what AGAPE love is anymore?
For some, love is just a word. But to some, love is not a word but a sentence - a life sentence!!! A death sentence!!! God help them, and their meaningless marital contracts too.
Yes, it take cruel effort to really pan out AGAPE love. Someone told me that it was not the nails that kept Jesus on the cross. It was (is) His love - AGAPE love!!! For me to follow His steps to love my wife unconditionally takes more than effort. I need His grace. The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. Thankfully, spirit can change; not so for the flesh.
I recently heard a female friend of mine said she don't mind co-habit with another man. Yes, staying together but not married; no contract, just condoms. It's like "I want you now, but I can also don't want you later if I change my mind". She obviously doesn't understand what love is. She said if things don't work out, if the "love" is gone, and the song stop playing, well, at least she can part ways without losing her financial assets. Gosh! I don't even know how to describe this kind of love she espoused. Nevermind, it's her life anyway. Maybe those foreign men she goes out with are eyeing her financial assets only. This is also very pathetic. I mean, does she really know what true wealth is?
Okay, back to me. I am making a fresh start. I need a slight new change in my behaviour, hence in my thinking. Good. But I am not rushing. I will take my time. It won't be overnight, overlunch, overtine/ milo ?? ... but over time.
You see: Things don't just happen. I must decide to make them happen. Today is the first day of the rest of my life. Yesterday is a cancelled cheque. Tomorrow is a promissory note. Today is hard currency. Today is cash! Today is current!! Today is the present. Today is a gift!
And tomorrow begins today!!!
I wake up today excited. Why? Because I realised that today marks a fresh start, a new beginning, a clean break. Yesterday ended last night; today is brand new. Nothing stale, nothing leftover. Brand new, understand?
I often thought about this: We wake up in the morning but forget to leave yesterday behind. Sad, but true. Leave what's yesterday yesterday. Today is today. Symbolically, yet very practical, we have to brush our teeth again. No matter how many times we have brushed before, we need to brush once more. The past & previous brushing are not valid for today!
Yes, I want a new start; I needed one. A new beginning, a new journey. Just like my play station, there is this little button that says "Reset" or "Replay". Well, fortunate for me, today is that button. The power to reset everything new, to start all over again - to begin.
Best of all, a new destination! Commencing today, life can be different, for better or for best! And the good news is: yes, it can be for the better!!!
So, right from the start this morning (while I visited my usual holy shrine a.k.a toilet to offer my usual "offering"), I set out the following thoughts:
1. I need to know what I want, very clearly.
Not wishy-washy, or fuzzy-wuzzy. Hey my friend, that's a damn good rule for life, you know! And just as good for any marriage, my marriage! Yes, I leave no uncertainty. I will stamp my desire clearly. Let it be known. Mostly to myself.
My friend, it is a negative world out there but I choose to be positive. I want to be an achiever, an overcomer, a true winner! And I believe it's mine for the taking!!! But first, in order for me to make a new start, I must leave the old behind. New wine needs new wine skins. Otherwise, as the wine matures, the old skins have no more stretch in them and will burst. Then all is lost.
2. I need a new mind set.
That's what I am aiming for today. Don't you know that nothing actually enters your life without first entering your mind? In a way, it becomes stored as part of your database. All decisions are first checked & tallied with this database, like my spell-checker in the Microsoft Word program. In a sense, the database means you have already pre-decided.
Anyhow, mindset change is a bit hard and difficult if you don't know what you like to change to. A new mind set is easily said than done, because it takes real hard effort to correct warp thinking. Just like puppy love (or guppy love). Have you ever experience this strange feeling of liking someone when you are in your early teens, say back in Primary 5? You think you are in love. You think that love will last. But today, you look back and laugh about it because it didn't.
By the way: what's love?
Someone said that love is a feeling you feel when you felt it. For me, I feel nothing now. Love is more than a feeling! It's a decision!! And between me and my better half, it is more than a decision - it's a covenant. A covenant is an agreement built on trust. Some married couple's marriage is a contract. A contract is an agreement built on mistrust!!! Sad, but true. Think about that. Does anybody know what AGAPE love is anymore?
For some, love is just a word. But to some, love is not a word but a sentence - a life sentence!!! A death sentence!!! God help them, and their meaningless marital contracts too.
Yes, it take cruel effort to really pan out AGAPE love. Someone told me that it was not the nails that kept Jesus on the cross. It was (is) His love - AGAPE love!!! For me to follow His steps to love my wife unconditionally takes more than effort. I need His grace. The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. Thankfully, spirit can change; not so for the flesh.
I recently heard a female friend of mine said she don't mind co-habit with another man. Yes, staying together but not married; no contract, just condoms. It's like "I want you now, but I can also don't want you later if I change my mind". She obviously doesn't understand what love is. She said if things don't work out, if the "love" is gone, and the song stop playing, well, at least she can part ways without losing her financial assets. Gosh! I don't even know how to describe this kind of love she espoused. Nevermind, it's her life anyway. Maybe those foreign men she goes out with are eyeing her financial assets only. This is also very pathetic. I mean, does she really know what true wealth is?
Okay, back to me. I am making a fresh start. I need a slight new change in my behaviour, hence in my thinking. Good. But I am not rushing. I will take my time. It won't be overnight, overlunch, overtine/ milo ?? ... but over time.
You see: Things don't just happen. I must decide to make them happen. Today is the first day of the rest of my life. Yesterday is a cancelled cheque. Tomorrow is a promissory note. Today is hard currency. Today is cash! Today is current!! Today is the present. Today is a gift!
And tomorrow begins today!!!
Thursday, September 20, 2007
A Little Secret
I just make a pact with God. I have decided to LDTP. I felt so good after surrendering this part of my struggle to Him. I finally understood what AGAPE really meant. Looking back, there are people who love me unconditionally, and they are still doing that. I am thankful.
You see, I always felt I don't deserve this and I don't deserve that ... since young. In part I was right. None of us really deserve all that God has intended for us, after commiting cosmic treason against the Almighty. But in His AGAPE love, all sins are write-offs at the cross.
So, I have decided that:
1. I will never never seek divorce. It has been and will always be "till death do us part".
2. Loving unconditionally is my re-pledge.
3. You can give me pain, more pain, and ultimate pain. My response will be love, more love, and ultimate love.
Remember: When evil abounds, grace abounds ALL the more!
This day, I've made a pact with God. It's our little secret.
You see, I always felt I don't deserve this and I don't deserve that ... since young. In part I was right. None of us really deserve all that God has intended for us, after commiting cosmic treason against the Almighty. But in His AGAPE love, all sins are write-offs at the cross.
So, I have decided that:
1. I will never never seek divorce. It has been and will always be "till death do us part".
2. Loving unconditionally is my re-pledge.
3. You can give me pain, more pain, and ultimate pain. My response will be love, more love, and ultimate love.
Remember: When evil abounds, grace abounds ALL the more!
This day, I've made a pact with God. It's our little secret.
Tuesday, August 7, 2007
Must Love Dogs
Plot:Sarah Nolan, a preschool teacher in her thirties, is recently divorced. Her family's new pet project is to find her a boyfriend. After a series of disastrous, but hilarious, dates she decides to swear off dating for good. Her well-meaning family and friends are not going to let her give-up quite so easily though. Her sister enrolls her in on-line dating and includes the description of "must love dogs." She loves dogs but doesn't own one of her own, so she borrows her brother's dog to meet Jake Anderson at the dog park; he, too, had to borrow a dog. It's a hit-and-miss beginning - but could true love wag its tail for these two? You bet.
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As always, the movie had a happy ending. One of the best line I heard came from Jake:
.
"I think your heart grows back bigger ya know, once you get the shit beat out of you. And the universe lets your heart expand that way, cause thats the function of all this pain and heartache that you go through and you gotta go through that to come out to a better place."
.
In the movie, Jake experienced the heartache of relationships & the pain of rejection. Truth is, all true lovers have in one way or another attended lessons from the school of pain. Fact is: Many don't complete their training well or graduate. They drop out, then drop in later ... People fall in love, get hurt, then fall out of love...then in love, hurt again, then out of love. In my time, people call it repeat. You don't get to advance to the next level until you fulfill the current level of training.
.
You see, as in the movie, my heart will grow back bigger (and stronger) everytime I bounce back from a hurting relationship. It will expand to accomodate the future as I embrace it one step at a time. I believe pain has its purpose: to instruct us in matters of the heart, to be emotionally mature and volitionally strong. Let Pain be your tutor. As for me:
..
I will go through it.
I will let my hurting heart expand.
I will come out and discover a better place.
.
I will.
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
5 Love Languages (Part 5)
Physical Touch
Many mates feel the most loved when they receive physical contact from their partner. For a mate who speaks this love language loudly, physical touch can make or break the relationship.
Sexual intercourse makes many mates feel secure and loved in a marriage. However, it is only one dialect of physical touch. Many parts of the body are extremely sensitive to stimulation. It is important to discover how your partner not only physically responds but also psychologically responds to these touches.
Clarification needed: By sexual intercourse, I meant within the sacred ring of marriage. Any sexual intimacy outside the premise of marriage is not love, but lust; and that's sin! In additional, demanding sexual favours outside the context of marriage is not love, but blackmailing!
It is important to learn how your mate speaks the physical touch language. Some touches are irritating and uncomfortable for your mate. Take the time to learn the touches your mate likes. They can be big acts, such as back massages or lovemaking, or little acts such as touches on the cheek or a hand on the shoulder. It’s important to learn how your mate responds to touch. That is how you will make the most of this love language.
All marriages will experience crisis. In these cases, physical touch is very important. In a crisis situation, a hug can communicate an immense amount of love for that person. A person whose primary love language is physical touch would much rather have you hold them and be silent than offer any advice.
It is important to remember that this love language is different for everyone. What type of touch makes you feel secure is not necessarily what will make your partner happy. It is important to learn each other’s dialects. That way you can make the most of your hugging, kissing, and other physical contacts.
Eagleboy's score on this: 1st! (ie it's my most important, primary love language!)
Though I may respond very positively to touch, please please please, wash your hands before touching me, especially right after your visit from the private oasis!
Many mates feel the most loved when they receive physical contact from their partner. For a mate who speaks this love language loudly, physical touch can make or break the relationship.
Sexual intercourse makes many mates feel secure and loved in a marriage. However, it is only one dialect of physical touch. Many parts of the body are extremely sensitive to stimulation. It is important to discover how your partner not only physically responds but also psychologically responds to these touches.
Clarification needed: By sexual intercourse, I meant within the sacred ring of marriage. Any sexual intimacy outside the premise of marriage is not love, but lust; and that's sin! In additional, demanding sexual favours outside the context of marriage is not love, but blackmailing!
It is important to learn how your mate speaks the physical touch language. Some touches are irritating and uncomfortable for your mate. Take the time to learn the touches your mate likes. They can be big acts, such as back massages or lovemaking, or little acts such as touches on the cheek or a hand on the shoulder. It’s important to learn how your mate responds to touch. That is how you will make the most of this love language.
All marriages will experience crisis. In these cases, physical touch is very important. In a crisis situation, a hug can communicate an immense amount of love for that person. A person whose primary love language is physical touch would much rather have you hold them and be silent than offer any advice.
It is important to remember that this love language is different for everyone. What type of touch makes you feel secure is not necessarily what will make your partner happy. It is important to learn each other’s dialects. That way you can make the most of your hugging, kissing, and other physical contacts.
Eagleboy's score on this: 1st! (ie it's my most important, primary love language!)
Though I may respond very positively to touch, please please please, wash your hands before touching me, especially right after your visit from the private oasis!
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