A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry.
Hence University education.
- George Bernard Shaw
King of the Birds, Lord of the Skies
Gather ye rose buds while ye may, old time is still a flying;
and this same rose that you see today, tomorrow will be dying.
CarpeDiem: Seize the Day!
- Dead Poets Society
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Don't Resist!
I never resist temptation, because I have found that things that are bad for me do not tempt me.
- George Bernard Shaw
- George Bernard Shaw
Never do that...
I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig.
You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.
- George Bernard Shaw
You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.
- George Bernard Shaw
All About Love
Absence diminishes mediocre passions and increases great ones,
as the wind extinguishes candles and fans fires.
All the passions make us commit faults;
love makes us commit the most ridiculous ones.
In love we often doubt what we most believe.
It is with true love as it is with ghosts;
everyone talks about it, but few have seen it.
One forgives to the degree that one loves.
Passion makes idiots of the cleverest men, and makes the biggest idiots clever.
Passions are the only orators to always convinces us.
The heart is forever making the head its fool.
There are very few people who are not ashamed of having been in love when they no longer love each other.
There is no disguise which can hide love for long where it exists,
or simulate it where it does not.
There is only one kind of love, but there are a thousand imitations.
We always love those who admire us,
but we do not always love those whom we admire.
- Francois De La Rochefoucauld
as the wind extinguishes candles and fans fires.
All the passions make us commit faults;
love makes us commit the most ridiculous ones.
In love we often doubt what we most believe.
It is with true love as it is with ghosts;
everyone talks about it, but few have seen it.
One forgives to the degree that one loves.
Passion makes idiots of the cleverest men, and makes the biggest idiots clever.
Passions are the only orators to always convinces us.
The heart is forever making the head its fool.
There are very few people who are not ashamed of having been in love when they no longer love each other.
There is no disguise which can hide love for long where it exists,
or simulate it where it does not.
There is only one kind of love, but there are a thousand imitations.
We always love those who admire us,
but we do not always love those whom we admire.
- Francois De La Rochefoucauld
Short French Quotes
A refusal of praise is a desire to be praised twice.
As it is the characteristic of great wits to say much in few words,
so small wits seem to have the gift of speaking much and saying nothing.
As one grows older, one becomes wiser and more foolish.
- Francois De La Rochefoucauld
As it is the characteristic of great wits to say much in few words,
so small wits seem to have the gift of speaking much and saying nothing.
As one grows older, one becomes wiser and more foolish.
- Francois De La Rochefoucauld
Marriage
A happy marriage is a matter of give and take; the husband gives and the wife takes.
It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.
Getting married is very much like going to a continental restaurant with friends.
You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.
At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
The other replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man."
Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is really finished.
Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his bachelor's degree and the woman gets her master's.
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it."
Young Son: Is it true, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?
Dad: That happens in most countries, son.
Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married;
and then it was too late.
When a newly married man looks happy we know why.
But when a ten-year married man looks happy - we wonder why.
Married life is very frustrating.
In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you."
And the husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice it."
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing:
either the car is new or the wife.
A perfect wife is one who helps the husband with the dishes.
A woman was telling her friend , "It is I who made my husband a millionaire."
"And what was he before you married him." Asked the friend.
The woman replied, " A multi-millionaire".
It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.
Getting married is very much like going to a continental restaurant with friends.
You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.
At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
The other replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man."
Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is really finished.
Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his bachelor's degree and the woman gets her master's.
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it."
Young Son: Is it true, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?
Dad: That happens in most countries, son.
Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married;
and then it was too late.
When a newly married man looks happy we know why.
But when a ten-year married man looks happy - we wonder why.
Married life is very frustrating.
In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you."
And the husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice it."
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing:
either the car is new or the wife.
A perfect wife is one who helps the husband with the dishes.
A woman was telling her friend , "It is I who made my husband a millionaire."
"And what was he before you married him." Asked the friend.
The woman replied, " A multi-millionaire".
How to Shower Like a Man
1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your wife along the way, shake willy at her making the "woo" sound.
3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck in your gut to see if you have pecs (no). Admire the size of your willy in the mirror, scratch your "privates" and smell your fingers for one last whiff.
4. Get in the shower.
5. Don't bother to look for a washcloth (you don't use one).
6. Wash your face.
7. Wash your armpits.
8. Crack up at how loud your fart sounds in the shower.
9. Wash your privates and surrounding area.
10. Wash your arse, leaving hair on the soap bar.
11. Shampoo your hair (do not use conditioner).
12. Make a shampoo Mohawk.
13. Pull back shower curtain and look at yourself in the mirror.
14. Pee (in the shower).
15. Rinse off and get out of the shower. Fail to notice water on the floor because you left the curtain hanging out of the tub the whole time.
16. Partially dry off.
17. Look at yourself in the mirror, flex muscles. Admire willy size again.
18. Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on the floor.
19. Leave bathroom fan and light on.
20. Return to the bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass your wife, pull off the towel, grab your willy, go "Yeah, baby" and thrust your pelvis at her.
21. Throw wet towel on the bed. Take 2 minutes to get dressed.
2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your wife along the way, shake willy at her making the "woo" sound.
3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck in your gut to see if you have pecs (no). Admire the size of your willy in the mirror, scratch your "privates" and smell your fingers for one last whiff.
4. Get in the shower.
5. Don't bother to look for a washcloth (you don't use one).
6. Wash your face.
7. Wash your armpits.
8. Crack up at how loud your fart sounds in the shower.
9. Wash your privates and surrounding area.
10. Wash your arse, leaving hair on the soap bar.
11. Shampoo your hair (do not use conditioner).
12. Make a shampoo Mohawk.
13. Pull back shower curtain and look at yourself in the mirror.
14. Pee (in the shower).
15. Rinse off and get out of the shower. Fail to notice water on the floor because you left the curtain hanging out of the tub the whole time.
16. Partially dry off.
17. Look at yourself in the mirror, flex muscles. Admire willy size again.
18. Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on the floor.
19. Leave bathroom fan and light on.
20. Return to the bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass your wife, pull off the towel, grab your willy, go "Yeah, baby" and thrust your pelvis at her.
21. Throw wet towel on the bed. Take 2 minutes to get dressed.
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