True Gifts have No Strings

I believe that true, real gifts have no strings attached, whatever the situation. In today's culture, I realised that presents can be wrought with all sorts of symbolism. But the adage that "It's the thought that counts" still rules, well at least to me. You see, because we were raised in a world in which getting stuffs is equated with love and security, we have made the politics of material exchange a bad policy. I believe that such is not the currency of love at all!

I admit that it is tempting to confuse the two. I am guilty of it in the past. The minute the gift has a hidden agenda it really is not a present. Those who are especially at risk for overruling or distorting the meaning behind a gift are those who were raised to see presents as rewards or love offerings. The focus that 'getting a gift means you have to reciprocate' is wrong.

In my conviction, the real thing in gift-giving is to communicate to your beloved that you thought about her intensely and carefully. It is like saying, "Hey, look how much I thought about you"! Therefore, the best gifts are those that communicate that thoughtfulness. The idea about giving a gift is that you've noticed, you've taken some trouble to do some research or you've been attentive to her interests.

In the end, a gift is only a symbol. The real sign of love is living generously and kindly everyday with the one you love dearly. That should be the gift.

It is in giving that we recieve;
in loving, been loved;
in serving, been served;
in blessing, been blessed.

Thank you, to all my good friends, for being such a gift to me...

20 Hours to 35! Time Out!!!

I am excited, exhausted, but not expired; cos' at 4 am now, I am sipping my heavily-dosed coffee in front of my lap-top screen and CNBC updates! Let me continue . . .

In life, as in sports, I know it is important to finish well. Starting well is important though, but ending well is essential! And if you are a Singaporean, you already have a head-start. So don't complain!!!

Though I'm not particularly fond of soccer, allow me my little locker-room pep talk here as I draw near the 45th minute of the game (of life). I wonder, how did my score measures up? What are my stats? How many good passess, tackles, blocks and goals? I concluded that all these eventually might not be as important as I thought.

Truth is: What good are great stats in my first half if I come up short at the end of my second half? Do I now have the right game plan for life?

Searching honestly within this private chambers of my heart, I acknowledged that I am making a transition from focusing on success to focusing on significance. My frantic pursuit for success in my first half had left me panting, and I can almost feel the breathlessness at my mid-race. But I can also feel the desire to gather speed for the next half.

I want to make my second half more meaningful, more effective as a marketplace catalyst. I want to shake my habit of thinking and change the habits of living and loving. I want to continue to dream great dreams, and plan great plans. I want to make a difference in the lives of those whom I love. I want to make my time and talent counts in the eyes of those who know me.

I want to connect (or actually re-connect) passion with purpose, success with significance, crowds with community, coviction with commitment. I want to develop vehicles for my vision, and find wings for my them. Yes, I wanted passion-driven vision, straight from the heart. As Bruce Brookshire said,

"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or touched, but are felt in the heart".

It is not that success is no longer important to me. It still is. However, being "successful" is not an adequate epitaph I seek. It begs the question: "What do I want to be remembered for when I die"? What will be written on my tombstone? The answer to these questions will lead me a step closer to the pursuit of significance. The end of the pursuit will leave a legacy. As Saint Augustine said,

"Asking yourself the question of your own legacy - What do I wish to be remembered for? - is the beginning of adulthood".

I guess I'll have to stop here and start pondering. Too much writing burdens the mind. I will enjoy this day as a simple yet profound gift. Life, afterall, is simply profound and profoundly simple. I will leave with this poem I kept over the years:

Count your garden by the flowers,
Never by leaves that fall.
Count your days by golden hours,
Don't remember clouds at all.
Count your nights by stars, not shadows
Count your life by smiles, not tears.
And with joy on every birthday,
Count your age by friends, not years.

Let's make it count! Happy Birthday to me :)

35 Soon!!! Half-time?

Yes, I am turning 35 in just about another 21 hours.
Hmm...35 years, or 420 months, or 12,775 days, or 306,600 hours, wow!
I have survived, I have lived to eat another meal without been eaten. What a discovery!!!
And if you consider the average lifespan of a male Singaporean to be around 70 years, I am about to hear the half-time whistle from the Great Referee of Life.

And as Bob Buford emphasized in his book "Half Time", I quote,
"One of the most common characteristics of a person nearing the end of the first half (of the game of life) is that unquenchable desire to move from Success to Significance"

I believe the second half of my life can be better than the first. Much better!
I believe this is an important time of transition, a time when I move beyond the first half of the game of life.
I believe it's a time of revitalization, and for catching a vision for living the second half.
I believe this is the half where life can be lived at its most rewarding!

As I embark on my personal renaissance, I am guided to lift up some fundamental questions, like:

What am I really good at?
What do I want to do from here?
What/ Who is most important to me?
What do I want to be remembered for?
If my life were absolutely perfect, what and how would it look like?

I do not have all the answers I want now, but at this point, I do remember a poem:

Instead of counting candles,
Or tallying the years,
Contemplate your blessings,
As your birthday nears.

Consider special people
Who love you and who care,
And others who’ve enriched your life
Just by being there.

Think about the memories
Passing years can never mar,
Experiences great and small
That have made you who you are.

Another year is a happy gift,
So cut your cake, and say,
"Instead of counting birthdays,
I count blessings every day!"

That's it for now. Much later...

One last one...this one is on politics!

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.
- Groucho Marx

A Few More and I am done...I promise!

No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.

Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

- Groucho Marx

Military what?

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
- Groucho Marx

I agreed. You can have military or intelligence. You can't have both.

Wonderful Institution?

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
- Groucho Marx