A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal, its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."
King of the Birds, Lord of the Skies
Gather ye rose buds while ye may, old time is still a flying;
and this same rose that you see today, tomorrow will be dying.
CarpeDiem: Seize the Day!
- Dead Poets Society
Saturday, April 21, 2007
Why...?
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?
Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough money in the account already?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars in the sky, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but he ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Why are there still apes if people evolved from apes?
Why is it that no matter what colour bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
Why and how do those dead insects get into those enclosed light fixtures?
Why do we say "It's all right" when we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping trolley then apologizes for doing so. Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
Why is it that you never hear father-in-law jokes?
Pls comment if you have answers to any of these "Why".
Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough money in the account already?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars in the sky, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but he ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Why are there still apes if people evolved from apes?
Why is it that no matter what colour bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
Why and how do those dead insects get into those enclosed light fixtures?
Why do we say "It's all right" when we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping trolley then apologizes for doing so. Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
Why is it that you never hear father-in-law jokes?
Pls comment if you have answers to any of these "Why".
Advice for the Ladies
If you want someone who will bring you the paper without first tearing it apart to remove the sports section...Buy a dog.
If you want someone willing to make a fool of himself simply over the joy of seeing you...Buy a dog.
If you want someone who will eat whatever you put in front of him and never says its not quite as good as his mother made it...Buy a dog
If you want someone always willing to go out, at any hour, for as long and wherever you want...Buy a dog.
If you want someone who will never touch the remote, doesn't care about football, and can sit next to you as you watch romantic movies...Buy a dog.
If you want someone who is content to get up on your bed just to warm your feet and whom you can push off if he snores...Buy a dog.
If you want someone who never criticizes what you do, doesn't care if you are pretty or ugly, fat or thin, young or old, who acts as if every word you say is especially worthy of listening to, and loves you unconditionally, perpetually...Buy a dog.
But, on the other hand,
If you want someone who will never come when you call, ignores you totally when you come home, leaves hair all over the place, walks all over you, runs around all night and only comes home to eat and sleep, and acts as if your entire existence is solely to ensure his happiness...
Then.................
........................Buy a cat !!!
(You thought I was talking about a man didn't you?)
If you want someone willing to make a fool of himself simply over the joy of seeing you...Buy a dog.
If you want someone who will eat whatever you put in front of him and never says its not quite as good as his mother made it...Buy a dog
If you want someone always willing to go out, at any hour, for as long and wherever you want...Buy a dog.
If you want someone who will never touch the remote, doesn't care about football, and can sit next to you as you watch romantic movies...Buy a dog.
If you want someone who is content to get up on your bed just to warm your feet and whom you can push off if he snores...Buy a dog.
If you want someone who never criticizes what you do, doesn't care if you are pretty or ugly, fat or thin, young or old, who acts as if every word you say is especially worthy of listening to, and loves you unconditionally, perpetually...Buy a dog.
But, on the other hand,
If you want someone who will never come when you call, ignores you totally when you come home, leaves hair all over the place, walks all over you, runs around all night and only comes home to eat and sleep, and acts as if your entire existence is solely to ensure his happiness...
Then.................
........................Buy a cat !!!
(You thought I was talking about a man didn't you?)
The Truth about Lifestyle
Let others lead small lives, but not you. Let others argue over small things, but not you. Let others cry over small hurts, but not you. Let others leave their future in someone else's hands, but not you.
Lifestyle is the art of discovering ways to live uniquely.
Some people have learned to earn well, but they haven't learned to live well.
Earn as much money as you possibly can and as quickly as you can.
The sooner you get money out of the way, the sooner you will be able to get to the rest of your problems in style.
- Jim Rohn
Lifestyle is the art of discovering ways to live uniquely.
Some people have learned to earn well, but they haven't learned to live well.
Earn as much money as you possibly can and as quickly as you can.
The sooner you get money out of the way, the sooner you will be able to get to the rest of your problems in style.
- Jim Rohn
Friday, April 20, 2007
Market Today
Today's market outlook comes early (cos I'll going out for my Friday nite party!)
Anyway, here's the juice for your post-dinner digestion (or indigestion):
In London, the FTSE 100 index of leading shares closed 8 points lower, at 6,440, yesterday. Now at 6,490, it has regained some 50 points.On the Continent, the Paris CAC-40 is currently at 5,906, up 77 points from yesterday. Frankfurt's DAX-30 was lifted to 7,338, intraday. Not bad for a day's job.
Across the Atlantic, stocks closed mixed as the pharmaceutical and biotech sectors made gains whilst oil majors and metals miners fell. The Dow Jones industrial index recovered from a morning slump to achieve a new record closing high of 12,808, a 4-point gain. The Nasdaq lost 5 points, ending the day at 2,505. And the S&P 500 lost one point to close at 1,470.
In Asia, buyers cautiously returned to the Nikkei following yesterday's losses, helping the Tokyo index to a close of 17,452, an 80-point gain. In Hong Kong, the Hang Seng added 234 points to close at 20,534. STI picked up another 69 points to close at 3,360, just 40 points down from yesterday. KLSE, the only laggard of the day, seems to be the only counter that might end the day in the negative saw itself jump right back on track to 1,315, up just 9 points from yesterday's close. So no red today in Asia.
Crude oil was 52 cents higher at $62.35 this morning, and Brent spot had edged up to $65.79 in London.
Spot gold lurched between an 11-month high of $691.50 and a low of $678.70 yesterday, and was trading at $684.70 this morning. Silver had climbed to $13.73.
So what's going on?
A shiver went through global stock markets briefly yesterday as China’s economic growth once again stormed in ahead of expectations, at 11.1% in the first quarter, leading premier Wen Jiabao to announce plans for a further crackdown on lending.
The Shanghai Shenzhen index fell 4.5%. Mr Wen felt that loan growth is too fast. Fact is: Inflation is now at 3.3%, the fastest rate in two years, and money is still being piled into building industrial infrastructure that no one really needs. Meanwhile, millions of Chinese are opening trading accounts & diving into the stock market, as a rampant case of genuine casino capitalism overtakes the populace.
You don’t have to belong to the Austrian School of Economics to know that this mad levels of investment, especially when orchestrated by commissars for political purposes, invariably end badly.
Part of the problem is that the Chinese currency, the yuan, remains artificially cheap. All the money flowing into the country is fuelling the boom. Some felt that the regime should “bite the bullet now” on yuan revaluation. Of course this would lead to carnage in the countryside as farmers would go bankrupt in the face of cheap grain imports.
This is probably the reason that the chinese government is trying to find other ways to slow the damaging growth in its investment bubble, such as tightening lending requirements. But if you keep trying to put off the tough choices until tomorrow, the problem you‘re attempting to escape just gets larger and larger, Mr Wen.
Of course, you have a choice, Mr Wen. Other countries don’t even have the option of setting their own rates.
So, how is your stomach now?
Until Monday, have a great weekend.
And remember: Don't do what I Won't Do.
Anyway, here's the juice for your post-dinner digestion (or indigestion):
In London, the FTSE 100 index of leading shares closed 8 points lower, at 6,440, yesterday. Now at 6,490, it has regained some 50 points.On the Continent, the Paris CAC-40 is currently at 5,906, up 77 points from yesterday. Frankfurt's DAX-30 was lifted to 7,338, intraday. Not bad for a day's job.
Across the Atlantic, stocks closed mixed as the pharmaceutical and biotech sectors made gains whilst oil majors and metals miners fell. The Dow Jones industrial index recovered from a morning slump to achieve a new record closing high of 12,808, a 4-point gain. The Nasdaq lost 5 points, ending the day at 2,505. And the S&P 500 lost one point to close at 1,470.
In Asia, buyers cautiously returned to the Nikkei following yesterday's losses, helping the Tokyo index to a close of 17,452, an 80-point gain. In Hong Kong, the Hang Seng added 234 points to close at 20,534. STI picked up another 69 points to close at 3,360, just 40 points down from yesterday. KLSE, the only laggard of the day, seems to be the only counter that might end the day in the negative saw itself jump right back on track to 1,315, up just 9 points from yesterday's close. So no red today in Asia.
Crude oil was 52 cents higher at $62.35 this morning, and Brent spot had edged up to $65.79 in London.
Spot gold lurched between an 11-month high of $691.50 and a low of $678.70 yesterday, and was trading at $684.70 this morning. Silver had climbed to $13.73.
So what's going on?
A shiver went through global stock markets briefly yesterday as China’s economic growth once again stormed in ahead of expectations, at 11.1% in the first quarter, leading premier Wen Jiabao to announce plans for a further crackdown on lending.
The Shanghai Shenzhen index fell 4.5%. Mr Wen felt that loan growth is too fast. Fact is: Inflation is now at 3.3%, the fastest rate in two years, and money is still being piled into building industrial infrastructure that no one really needs. Meanwhile, millions of Chinese are opening trading accounts & diving into the stock market, as a rampant case of genuine casino capitalism overtakes the populace.
You don’t have to belong to the Austrian School of Economics to know that this mad levels of investment, especially when orchestrated by commissars for political purposes, invariably end badly.
Part of the problem is that the Chinese currency, the yuan, remains artificially cheap. All the money flowing into the country is fuelling the boom. Some felt that the regime should “bite the bullet now” on yuan revaluation. Of course this would lead to carnage in the countryside as farmers would go bankrupt in the face of cheap grain imports.
This is probably the reason that the chinese government is trying to find other ways to slow the damaging growth in its investment bubble, such as tightening lending requirements. But if you keep trying to put off the tough choices until tomorrow, the problem you‘re attempting to escape just gets larger and larger, Mr Wen.
Of course, you have a choice, Mr Wen. Other countries don’t even have the option of setting their own rates.
So, how is your stomach now?
Until Monday, have a great weekend.
And remember: Don't do what I Won't Do.
Maths is Everything
A husband wrote the following letter for his wife and left it on the dining room table:
To My Dear Wife,
You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being 54 years old, can no longer satisfy. I am very happy with you and I value you as a good wife. Therefore, after reading this letter, I hope that you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening with my 18 year old secretary at the Comfort Inn Hotel.
Please don't be upset - I shall be home before midnight.
When the man came home late that night, he found the following letter on the dining room table:
My Dear Husband,
I received your letter and thank you for your honesty about my being 54 years old. I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that you are also 54 years old. As you know, I am a math teacher at our local college. I would like to inform you that while you read this, I will be at the Hotel Fiesta with Michael, one of my students, who is also the assistant tennis coach. He is young, virile, and like your secretary, is 18 years old. As a successful businessman who has an excellent knowledge of math, you will understand that we are in the same situation, although with one small difference: 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18!!!
Therefore, I will not be home until sometime tomorrow.
To My Dear Wife,
You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being 54 years old, can no longer satisfy. I am very happy with you and I value you as a good wife. Therefore, after reading this letter, I hope that you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening with my 18 year old secretary at the Comfort Inn Hotel.
Please don't be upset - I shall be home before midnight.
When the man came home late that night, he found the following letter on the dining room table:
My Dear Husband,
I received your letter and thank you for your honesty about my being 54 years old. I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that you are also 54 years old. As you know, I am a math teacher at our local college. I would like to inform you that while you read this, I will be at the Hotel Fiesta with Michael, one of my students, who is also the assistant tennis coach. He is young, virile, and like your secretary, is 18 years old. As a successful businessman who has an excellent knowledge of math, you will understand that we are in the same situation, although with one small difference: 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18!!!
Therefore, I will not be home until sometime tomorrow.
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