First World Infrastructure, Third World Mentality

A toilet in Singapore.

A Tribute to Mothers

"Why are you crying?" he asked his Mom.

"Because I'm a mother" she told him.

"I don't understand," he said.

His mom just hugged him to her and said, "You never will."

Later the little boy asked his Father why Mother seemed to cry for no reason. "All mothers cry for no reason," was all his Dad could say. The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why mothers cry. One night, he had a dream. In his dream, he called God on the telephone. When God came to the phone the man asked, "God, why do mothers cry so easily?"

God answered him, "My son, you see, when I made mothers, I knew they had to be special. I made their shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet gentle enough to give comfort. I gave them an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times come from their children and mates.

I gave them a hardiness that allows them to keep going when everyone else gives up, and to take care of their families through sickness and fatigue without complaining. I gave them the sensitivity to love their children under all circumstances, even when their child has hurt them very badly.

This same sensitivity helps them to make a child's boo-boo feel better & helps them share a teenager's anxieties and fears. I gave them a tear to shed. It's theirs, exclusively, to use whenever needed.

It's their only weakness.

It’s also their strength.

It is a tear for mankind."

How Long is a Million Years?

A man trying to understand the nature of God and asked him: "God, how long is a million years to you?"

God answered: " A million years is like a minute."

Then the man asked: "God, how much is a million dollars to you?"

And God replied: "A million dollars is like a penny."

Finally the man asked: "God, could you give me a penny?"

And God said, "In a minute."

It Doesn't Look Good...

A Presbyterian, a Methodist, and a Baptist pastor and their wives were on a cruise. A tidal wave came up and swamped the ship; they all drowned, and next thing you know, they're standing before St. Peter.

First came the Presbyterian and his wife. St. Peter shook his head sadly. "I can't let you in You loved money too much. You loved it so much, you even married a woman named Penny."

Then came the Methodist. "Sorry, can't let you in, either. You loved food too much. You loved to eat so much, you even married a woman named Candy!"

The Baptist turned to his wife and whispered nervously, "It doesn't look good, Fanny."



P.S.: "Fanny" means external female sex organs; "in England 'fanny' is vulgar slang for female genitals"; in U.S., it's a slang for 'the buttocks'.
(Courtesy of dictionary.com)

If the World Ends Tomorrow ...

"Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree."
-Martin Luther

I would humbly beg to differ from that "apple tree" thingy. I can fully appreciate his meaning & deep convictions about going about and doing the things as planned, but I confess I am a bit shallow. If the world really ends tomorrow, I guess I will drop some of my planned activities in order to attempt the following (in no order of preference):

1. Open & drink that most expensive bottle of wine in my house (don't you guys dare ask for it when you come to my place. I will deny everything)
2. Order a full set meal from Morton Steak House (Home Delivery)
3. Throw a few eggs at my neighbour's car down in the HDB carpark
4. Call someone I love & tell her I really love her like no tomorrow
5. And then ask her can I kiss her passionately (I'll drive down her place if she consents)
6. Call & thank my parent for the gift of life
7. Call my siblings and tell them they were great
8. SMS my friends & ...heck lah...where got time?
9. Order Hilton cheesecake for desserts (Home Delivery)
10. Drive out for some D24 durian
11. Have a nice cup of brewed Blue Mountain coffee
12. Hug & kiss my wife and kid, tell them I love them, and then .....

...debate with God (means plead, blackmail, threats, act cute, bargain... ) & see if I can postpone the ending.

What would you do with your last 24 hours? What's your dirty dozen? Share leh, for the fun of it...

Office Arithmetic

Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

So, which one are you?

True Spirit of Success

"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."
- Thomas Edison