Ali married Aminah. Ali was so innocent that he did not know how to consummate the marriage (actually he didn't even know the differences of the male and female anatomy).
Aminah got tired of waiting, took off all her clothes one night and lied on the bed. Ali was shocked seeing a naked Aminah. He was more shocked that Aminah had lost her penis.
Ali contacted his neighbour, a doctor."Please fix it back for her!!!(Must sew properly!!!)
The doctor asked to be alone with Aminah, took advantage of the situation and had his rounds of fun with Aminah.
After the doctor leaves, Ali enters the room again and found the penis still unattached. He touched where the penis is supposed to be affixed and felt something sticky."The bastard doctor, ask him do sewing, he go and put glue!!!"
King of the Birds, Lord of the Skies
Gather ye rose buds while ye may, old time is still a flying;
and this same rose that you see today, tomorrow will be dying.
CarpeDiem: Seize the Day!
- Dead Poets Society
Friday, July 13, 2007
Power & Strength
"Power is so characteristically calm, that calmness in itself has the aspect of strength."
- Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton
- Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton
Good Sales Person
Good Sales Person (by Ron White)
Last week I walked into a shop that sells Afghan rugs - and not some imitation but the real deal. These were genuine rugs hand made in Afghanistan. As I was talking to the shop owner, I was looking at five or six rugs that were all the same size and style - only the colors varied a little. I asked him, 'How much for these rugs?' Because I knew they were all the same price (and turns out that they were).
He could have said, '$190 each.' But he didn't, he did what I wish I could get more sales people to do and that is not get overly giddy at the first buying sign (questions are buying signs) and blurt out the answer. Instead, ask a question to allow the prospect to feel as if the buying decision was his idea. For example, this rug salesman didn't give me the price - he said, 'Which one do you like?' By asking this question he was:
1. Maintaining control of the conversation - if you give the price then they talk next about anything they want and you are not controlling the conversation. If you ask a question then they talk next about what YOU want!
2. Allowing me to feel as if I was buying and not being sold.
When someone says, 'Do you have this in red?' Don't say 'Yes!'. Instead, ask 'Would you like it in red?' I guarantee you my Afghan rug salesman would! Maintain control and let them buy. If you do, you are going to sell a lot of rugs (or whatever you sell). By the way, when he asked the question I laughed because I admired his style and, yes of course, I now have a new rug.
Ron White
Last week I walked into a shop that sells Afghan rugs - and not some imitation but the real deal. These were genuine rugs hand made in Afghanistan. As I was talking to the shop owner, I was looking at five or six rugs that were all the same size and style - only the colors varied a little. I asked him, 'How much for these rugs?' Because I knew they were all the same price (and turns out that they were).
He could have said, '$190 each.' But he didn't, he did what I wish I could get more sales people to do and that is not get overly giddy at the first buying sign (questions are buying signs) and blurt out the answer. Instead, ask a question to allow the prospect to feel as if the buying decision was his idea. For example, this rug salesman didn't give me the price - he said, 'Which one do you like?' By asking this question he was:
1. Maintaining control of the conversation - if you give the price then they talk next about anything they want and you are not controlling the conversation. If you ask a question then they talk next about what YOU want!
2. Allowing me to feel as if I was buying and not being sold.
When someone says, 'Do you have this in red?' Don't say 'Yes!'. Instead, ask 'Would you like it in red?' I guarantee you my Afghan rug salesman would! Maintain control and let them buy. If you do, you are going to sell a lot of rugs (or whatever you sell). By the way, when he asked the question I laughed because I admired his style and, yes of course, I now have a new rug.
Ron White
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Sex in the Dark
"Jane" was becoming frustrated with her husband's insistence that they have sex in the dark. Hoping to free her husband from his inhibitions, during a passionate evening, she flipped on the lamp, only to discover a cucumber in his hand.
Is THIS what you've been using on me for the past 10 years!?!"
"Honey! Let me explain!"
"Why you sneaky bastard!" she screamed.
"You impotent SOB!!"
"Speaking of sneaky!" he interrupted,"Maybe you'd care to explain our 2 kids!!!"
Is THIS what you've been using on me for the past 10 years!?!"
"Honey! Let me explain!"
"Why you sneaky bastard!" she screamed.
"You impotent SOB!!"
"Speaking of sneaky!" he interrupted,"Maybe you'd care to explain our 2 kids!!!"
Stumble Over Truth
"Men occasionally stumble over the truth, most pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing has happened."
- Winston Churchill
- Winston Churchill
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
天堂 - 光良
歌曲：天堂
歌手：光良
专辑：童话
牵着你在天空飞翔
这样看世界不一样
有了你在身旁
笑的脸庞
世界或许
就这么宽广
忽然就忘记了慌张
人海之中你最明亮
无意间的影响
渐渐扩张
你丰富我
生活感想
何必寻找所谓的天堂
原来我
因为你
不想再去流浪
情愿平凡
不拥有一切也无妨
有了你
在心上
已然是天堂
已经是天堂
歌手：光良
专辑：童话
牵着你在天空飞翔
这样看世界不一样
有了你在身旁
笑的脸庞
世界或许
就这么宽广
忽然就忘记了慌张
人海之中你最明亮
无意间的影响
渐渐扩张
你丰富我
生活感想
何必寻找所谓的天堂
原来我
因为你
不想再去流浪
情愿平凡
不拥有一切也无妨
有了你
在心上
已然是天堂
已经是天堂
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