Golf & Therapist

A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The first of the twosome teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.Indeed, the ball hit one of the men, and he immediately clasped his hands together at his crotch, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in evident agony.

The woman rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize. She explained that she was a physical therapist: "Please allow me to help. I'm a physical therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd just allow me!" she told him earnestly.

"Ummph, oooh, nnooo, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes," he replied breathlessly as he remained in the fetal position still clasping his hands together at his crotch. But she persisted, and he finally allowed her to help him.

She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, she loosened his pants, and she put her hands inside. After a short massage she asked him, "How does that feel?"

To which he replied: "It feels great, but my thumb still hurts like hell!"

German's Proverbs

One can advise comfortably from a safe port.

[German - Vom sichern Port lasst sich's gemachlich rathen.]

- Johann Christoph Friedrich von Schiller

Do Your Level Best

Any mans life will be filled with constant and unexpected encouragement if he makes up his mind to do his level best each day.

- Booker T. Washington

Imagination

What is it that we spend most of our imagination on? The future!

Our imagination is simply an "image" we create of that which isn't a reality yet. It is what we think will be. If we use our imagination to think that our future is going to be bad - we call that pessimism - and pessimism will never help you to become a success.

When we use our imagination to think of a great future - we call that optimism - and optimism is the thing that will give your life flight. When you have positive imagination, when you can see all of the possibilities, and see them as good, then will your life take flight on the wings of optimistic imagination!

Since what we imagine is simply a choice of the will, I suggest you take some time today to begin to foster optimism in your life. I know it not easy. Since when did anyone say that good and great things are easy? Take a situation you think is going to turn out poorly and begin to change how you think of it. Use your imagination to see how that situation could turn out great!

Thought it Over

"As the biggest library, if it is in disorder is not as useful as a small but well-arranged one, so you may accumulate a vast amount of knowledge but it will be of far less value to you than a much smaller amount if you have not thought it over for yourself."

- Arthur Schopenhauer

Fix it with...Glue

Ali married Aminah. Ali was so innocent that he did not know how to consummate the marriage (actually he didn't even know the differences of the male and female anatomy).

Aminah got tired of waiting, took off all her clothes one night and lied on the bed. Ali was shocked seeing a naked Aminah. He was more shocked that Aminah had lost her penis.

Ali contacted his neighbour, a doctor."Please fix it back for her!!!(Must sew properly!!!)

The doctor asked to be alone with Aminah, took advantage of the situation and had his rounds of fun with Aminah.

After the doctor leaves, Ali enters the room again and found the penis still unattached. He touched where the penis is supposed to be affixed and felt something sticky."The bastard doctor, ask him do sewing, he go and put glue!!!"

Power & Strength

"Power is so characteristically calm, that calmness in itself has the aspect of strength."

- Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton