Some Can Count, Some Can't

A golfer called one of the caddies and asked, "I need a caddy who can count and keep the score. What's 3 and 4 and 5 come to?"

"10" said the caddy.

"Great, you'll do perfectly!"

The Difference

The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.

Woody Allen

Don't Tease Old Ladies

Defense Attorney:
Will you please state your age?

Little Old Lady:
I am 86 years old.

Defense Attorney:
Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?

Little Old Lady:
There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.

Defense Attorney:
Did you know him?

Little Old Lady:
No, but he sure was friendly.

Defense Attorney:
What happened after he sat down?

Little Old Lady:
He started to rub my thigh.

Defense Attorney:
Did you stop him?

Little Old Lady:
No, I didn't stop him.

Defense Attorney:
Why not?

Little Old Lady:
It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Albert died some 30 years ago.

Defense Attorney:
What happened next?

Little Old Lady:
He began to rub my breasts.

Defense Attorney:
Did you stop him then?

Little Old Lady:
No, I did not stop him.

Defense Attorney:
Why not?

Little Old Lady:
His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years!

Defense Attorney:
What happened next?

Little Old Lady:
Well, by then, I was feeling so "spicy" that I just laid down and told him "Take me, young man. Take me now!"

Defense Attorney:
Did he take you?

Little Old Lady:
Hell, no! He just yelled, "April Fool!" And that's when I shot him, the little bastard.

Decide To Be

People begin to become successful the minute they decide to be.

Harvey MacKay

This is So Cute!

Confession: I did not take this shot. I got a professional to do it. Sometimes, paying a few bucks does make a difference, isn't it?

What is "It"?

Here's a short quiz:

"It" doesn't happen overnight.
"It" takes time and work.
"It" requires guidance and can not do it alone.
"It" requires tenacity and patience.
"It" requires the ability to adapt and change.
"It" requires perseverance in the face of odds.

What is "It"?

"It" is your dreams, successes and passion.

I don't know many people who are overnight successes. I don't know anybody who made it to the top without paying his or her dues. Maybe I don't many people??? Maybe.

But this I know: that on the road to success one must weather storms. Sometimes a bad storm will hit and you must adapt and change to the oncoming winds. Sometimes on the road to success and happiness you have to hunker down and persevere the storm of negativity, endure the showers of criticism & stomach a load of skepticism.

But after all is said and done, if you can stand tall, you will have learned more about yourself, and you are that much closer to achieving your dream. If you are stuck in a storm and need some guidance and direction, give me a shout here.

I will end with an appropriate quote I have in my collections:

"Nature always takes her time. Great oaks don't become great overnight. They also lose a lot of leaves, branches and bark in the process of becoming great."

- Andrew Matthews

Press on with it!!

Because of Me

"Things are not happening to you. Things are happening because of you".

Unknown Author

EagleBoy chooses to interpret the above as because of me, good things are happening around me. Because of me, things that benefit others are taking place. Because of me, someone's life is better, happier, fuller. Because of me.

Now how's that?