Elbow

A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite startled.

The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is a soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me."

She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 436."

Gratefulness & Happiness

In our daily lives, we must see that it is not happiness that makes us grateful, but the gratefulness that makes us happy.

Albert Clarke

男佣 - 吴克群

歌曲：男佣
歌手：吴克群
专辑：将军令

韩剧看太多
你最爱野蛮女友
巴掌巴不够
活该倒楣的是我
怕你哭怕你泪流
怕到朋友唾弃我
我只是你的男佣
路上车太多
司机老吴来接送
健身健不够
还要懂一点幽默
煮饭烧菜你不懂
洗衣擦地的粗活
全部都由我来做

不管你站着坐着趴着
我在你左右
如果你累了酸了瘫了
我帮你按摩
我做你的男佣
一天到晚上工
让你越过越轻松
不管你醒着睡着梦着
我在你左右
如果你气了哭了闷了
我帮你按摩
我是你的男佣
一周全年无休
让你越过越轻松

情话说太多
你嫌恶心又做作
假如说不够
你又嫌我爱不多
到底要我怎么做
拿本说明书给我
我只是你的男佣

不管你站着坐着趴着
我在你左右
如果你累了酸了瘫了
我帮你按摩
我做你的男佣
一天到晚上工
让你越过越轻松
不管你醒着睡着梦着
我在你左右
如果你气了哭了闷了
我帮你按摩
我是你的男佣
一周全年无休
让你越过越轻松

常常一一歪歪叽叽喳喳哔哔巴巴
念个不停就像女王
我也霹雳啪啦被你打个淅哩哗啦
逆来顺受为你投降

不管你站坐趴
我在你左右
如果你累酸瘫
我帮你按摩
我做你的男佣
一天到晚上工
让你越过越轻松

不管你醒着睡着梦着
我在你左右
如果你气了哭了闷了
我帮你按摩
我是你的男佣
一周全年无休
让你越过越轻松

Success and the Search for it

People get very caught up in the search for success rather than doing what they already know how to do and then doing it until it works. If you struggle with the doing, then you need to visit the WHY.
- John Kanary

Your success is not a matter of doing many things, it is about doing a couple of things exceptionally well and everyone can learn to do that.
-Brian Mennis
Author of "Average to Awesome"

Ugliest Baby

A woman gets on a bus with her baby.

The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!"

The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go right up there and tell him off ... go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

Face Your Deficiencies

Face your deficiencies and acknowledge them; but do not let them master you. Let them teach you patience, sweetness, insight.

Helen Keller
1880-1968

There will be Prayer

As long as there are tests & exams, there will be prayer in schools.
- Unknown