Civility

"Civility costs nothing, andbuys everything."

Mary Wortley Montagu
1689 - 1762
English writer

NUSS Karaoke Competition: Final - 该不该

Wah piang! This song bring me bad luck hah!!! Even the song title is so misleading - 该不该 (means should and shouldn't). I think the judges, while listening to the song, must be thinking should they or shouldn't they kick me out of the competition...ha...ha...juz kidding!

Anyway, I didn't make it to the top 3 ... sob...sob... All the 3 guys were ousted. This year we have an all female showdown. Last year's champion got pushed to 3rd place this year, while this year's new champion was last year's runners up. And then there was this in-between 2nd place winner out of no where (though you wouldn't miss her - she is quite ... you know ... on the UPSIZE category).

Think again, somebody has to go home without the trophy sometimes. Not everyday is your winning day, even though you may have prepared for it. But I did learn a few lessons from my journey.

First, new friends. The Kent Ridge crowd is definitely a much friendlier group than the Suntec ones. Essentially, it's about meeting people and building friendship that counts.

Second, new methods & styles of singing karaoke. Singing in karaoke and singing karaoke in a competition is totally a different thing.

Third, I realised (again) that we learn more from our defeats than from our victories. It keeps me from being complacent and pushes me to higher grounds.

Lastly, I realised how significant friends' support are. The moral support I recieved from my friends boosted my morale, both on and off the stage. Thank you.

For me, the day after the defeat was the hardest. The effect sank in later. When you are alone, when you wake up and the surrounding is quiet (as compared to the noisy environment the night before), when nobody is there to congratulate or console you - that moment makes or breaks a man.

Who are you when no one is around? Who are you when no one is watching? Who are you when you are all alone out there? How we handle crisis, defeats and disappointment - that will define the man and his real character.

Anyway, I don't think I have chosen the wrong song. I chose this song because it speaks of the desire to be authentic, to be real, to be able to look into the mirror and find a true being, without covering or pretence. This is the song. And here it is:


曲名：该不该
歌手：张学友

谁羡幕我的世界
谁忌妒你的一切
其实我们
都无所谓
爱的人都在身边
这就是我的永远

另一个我
离你很远
这感觉
我都胆怯
当苦与乐
各自体会
各有各的每一天
只能轻描淡写
我的累

该不该
告诉你我不是不爱
该不该
心靠著心才能明白
我的爱
渴望填满
如果你能打开

我已经习惯
在最深的孤单
才能看清楚
所有自己的纠缠
不能分享
是因为我也说不上来
不是故意隐瞒
也从不想过离开

Looking forard to next year's NUSS Karaoke Competition 2008!

What Wears You Out?

It isn't the mountain ahead that wears you out--it's the grain of sand in your shoe.

Robert Service

Come to my House at 6:30, okay?

For the record, this question is uttered from my 3 1/2 year-old junior, not a girlfriend or mistress.
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Now, you will have to understand a few things before appreciating my reason for putting it here:

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First, this is the first time he dialled my handphone number from memory - nobody assisted him. And for your information, EagleBoy junor can recall his mommy's cell phone too!
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Second, his grasp of the concept of time is impressive. He specified what time he wanted to see me. It would be well if he said he wanted to see me tonight. But at 6:30, this boy knew when he wants what he wants.
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Third, he stated the location: My house. Often we are at the mercy of other's choice of location. The successful time manager will have others go to him instead of him going to others. Time is saved in this way.
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Now, what did EagleBoy (Dad) do in this situation?
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He yielded....He cancelled his 6:30 pm appointment, postponed his 7:30 pm appointment, and asked for grace to show up late for his last appointment at NUSS (that's at 8 pm). All this for a little boy's plea to ... show his dad his new toy car and a new set of train tracks.
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Now if you know me, I am not in the habit of changing my appointment or schedule; well, at least not by me. Most of the time, my clients will call and do the re-arrangement. But I felt compelled to oblige my little boy for 3 basic reasons:
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1. He can have my attention, any time, almost anywhere (except when I am out of town). I want him to know that Dad is a friend and my line is always open to him as far as he is concerned.
He has exclusivity (Just like his mom).
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2. Once I made a promise, I keep it. I need to demonstrate to him what a Promise Keeper is and do, and he needs to learn this from me. You see, not that I undermine the importance of meeting my clients. It's just a matter of setting my priorities from the beginning.
He has priority (Just like his mom).
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3. Loving someone cost - the greater the love, the higher the cost. There is no two ways about it. Love is non-negotiable. If you claim you love somebody, you will need to sacrifice something, sometime, down the road somewhere, somehow. If I can show it now, why wait. To a child, love is not spelled L-O-V-E, but T-I-M-E!!!
He has urgency (Just like his mom). And I need his mom to know that!
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Moments like these only come a few times in our lives. Some don't even have the opportunities or privileges. Don't squander them at the altar of wealth and the pursuit of money. Remember:
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People first (family),
then money (the management of it),
then things (the stewardship of it).
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So, love people, manage money, and enjoy things.
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So, are you coming to my house at 6:30 pm? Okay?

Better Return Halfway

Better return half way than lose yourself.

Dutch Proverb

Raise Voice?

My father used to say, "Don't raise your voice, improve your arguement".

Desmond Tutu

How Deep is Chess?

"Chess is a sea in which a gnat may drink and an elephant may bathe."

-An Indian Proverb