1. It lasts longer than 5 minutes.
2. It’s reliable and doesn’t talk back.
3. I don’t have to clean its dirty laundry.
4. It’s ready ALL of the time.
5. It has never lied to me.
6. It is ALWAYS 8.5″, even soft.
7. It doesn’t look at other women.
8. It’s always happy to see me.
9. No risk of catching an STD.
10. It doesn’t stay out all night (w/o me).
King of the Birds, Lord of the Skies
Gather ye rose buds while ye may, old time is still a flying;
and this same rose that you see today, tomorrow will be dying.
CarpeDiem: Seize the Day!
- Dead Poets Society
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