A Phone Conversation: Sizza Delivery

Operator: Thank you for calling Sizza Hunt. May I have your...

Customer: Hi, I'd like to order...

Operator: May I have your NRIC first, sir?

Customer: My NRIC number? Yeah, hold on, er...it's T2056413S."

Operator: Thank you, Mr. Billygate. I see you live at 13531 Midland Drive, phone number's 001-223-7896, office number over at Best Insurance Inc. is 222-3894-123 and cell phone is 6783-20198. You are now calling from home.

Customer: Huh? Where d'ya get all this information?

Operator: We're wired into the system, sir.

Customer: (Sighs)--Oh, well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-beef Special Sizza.

Operator: I don't think that's a good idea for you, sir.

Customer: Whaddya mean?

Operator: Sir, your medical records indicate that you've got high blood pressure & extremely high cholesterol. And your National Health Service provider does not allow such an unhealthy choice.

Customer: Shi#*%... What do you recommend, then?

Operator: Try our low-fat Soybean Toufu Sizza, you'll love it.

Customer: What makes you think I'd like something like that?

Operator: Well, you checked out "Gourmet Soybean Recipes" from your local library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion.

Customer: All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, & what's the damage?

Operator: That should be plenty for you, your wife & your four kids, sir. The "damage" as you put it, comes to $69.99

Customer: Lemme give you my credit card number.

Operator: I'm sorry sir, I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash. Your credit card balance is over its limit.

Customer: I'll run over to the ATM & get some cash before your delivery van gets here.

Operator: That won't work either, sir. Your checking account's overdrawn.

Customer: Never mind. Just send the sizzas. I'll have the cashready, how long will it take?

Operator: We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick 'em up while you're out getting the cash, but carrying sizzas on your motorcycle can be a little awkward.

Customer: How do you know I'm riding a bike?

Operator: My screen info says here that you're in arrears on your car payments & got repo'ed. But your "Harley's" paid up, I assumed that you'd be using it.

Customer: @#%/$@&?#!

Operator: Please be reminded to watch your language, sir. You've already got a Jan 2019 conviction for cussing out a cop.

Customer: (Speechless)

Operator: Will there be anything else, sir?

Customer: No, nothing. Oh, yeah, don't forget the two free liters of Fizz's your ad says I get with the sizzas.

Operator: I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause does not allow us to offer free soda to diabetics.