TEACHER: Why are you late?
Teddy: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
Teddy: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
TEACHER: Kelly, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
Kelly: You told me to do it without using tables!
TEACHER: Albert, how do you spell "crocodile?"
Albert: K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong!
Albert: Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
Sally: H I J K L M N O!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
Sally: Yesterday you said it's H to O!
TEACHER: David, go to the map and find North America.
David: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS: David!
TEACHER: Peter, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
Peter: Me!
TEACHER: Jimmy, why do you always get so dirty?
Jimmy: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
TEACHER: Sarah, give me a sentence starting with "I."
Sarah: I is...
TEACHER: No, Sarah..... Always say, "I am."
Sarah: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
TEACHER: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
Jason: "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time."
TEACHER: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?"
Danny: "Because George still had the axe in his hand."
TEACHER: Now, Joe, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
Joe: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
TEACHER: Derrick, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
Derrick: No, teacher, it's the same dog!
TEACHER: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
PUPIL: A teacher.
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