The Wife & Her Big Mouth

A couple are going out for a night on the town. They're all dolled up, ready to go; the lights left on, the dog put out.
But just as the taxi arrives and they step out of the house, the dog darts back inside and won't come out. They don't want to leave the dog inside, so the husband goes upstairs to find it, while the wife goes to wait in the taxi.
Not wanting it known that the house will be empty, she explains to the driver that her husband had just gone "to say good-bye to my mother".
A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab.
"Sorry I took so long," he says.
"Stupid bitch was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with a coat-hanger to get her to come out! Then I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching and biting me as I hauled her ass downstairs and tossed her in the backyard!
She'd better not sh!t in the vegetable garden again!".
The silence in the cab was deafening.