Optimists enrich the present,
enhance the future,
challenge the improbable,
and attain the impossible.
- William Arthur Ward
King of the Birds, Lord of the Skies
Gather ye rose buds while ye may, old time is still a flying;
and this same rose that you see today, tomorrow will be dying.
CarpeDiem: Seize the Day!
- Dead Poets Society
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
Things Smart Kids Say To Their Teachers
TEACHER: Why are you late?
Teddy: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
Teddy: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
TEACHER: Kelly, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
Kelly: You told me to do it without using tables!
TEACHER: Albert, how do you spell "crocodile?"
Albert: K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong!
Albert: Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
Sally: H I J K L M N O!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
Sally: Yesterday you said it's H to O!
TEACHER: David, go to the map and find North America.
David: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS: David!
TEACHER: Peter, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
Peter: Me!
TEACHER: Jimmy, why do you always get so dirty?
Jimmy: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
TEACHER: Sarah, give me a sentence starting with "I."
Sarah: I is...
TEACHER: No, Sarah..... Always say, "I am."
Sarah: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
TEACHER: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
Jason: "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time."
TEACHER: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?"
Danny: "Because George still had the axe in his hand."
TEACHER: Now, Joe, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
Joe: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
TEACHER: Derrick, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
Derrick: No, teacher, it's the same dog!
TEACHER: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
PUPIL: A teacher.
Teddy: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
Teddy: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
TEACHER: Kelly, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
Kelly: You told me to do it without using tables!
TEACHER: Albert, how do you spell "crocodile?"
Albert: K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong!
Albert: Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
Sally: H I J K L M N O!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
Sally: Yesterday you said it's H to O!
TEACHER: David, go to the map and find North America.
David: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS: David!
TEACHER: Peter, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
Peter: Me!
TEACHER: Jimmy, why do you always get so dirty?
Jimmy: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
TEACHER: Sarah, give me a sentence starting with "I."
Sarah: I is...
TEACHER: No, Sarah..... Always say, "I am."
Sarah: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
TEACHER: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
Jason: "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time."
TEACHER: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?"
Danny: "Because George still had the axe in his hand."
TEACHER: Now, Joe, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
Joe: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
TEACHER: Derrick, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
Derrick: No, teacher, it's the same dog!
TEACHER: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
PUPIL: A teacher.
Monday, September 3, 2007
Edify in Advance
Edify a person in advance for the positive traits you want him or her to have, and you'll find them making a concerted effort to live up to your praise.
- Bob Burg
- Bob Burg
Different Kind of Stress
What's the difference between stress, tension & panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant;
Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant,
PANIC is when both are pregnant!
Stress is when wife is pregnant;
Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant,
PANIC is when both are pregnant!
Sunday, September 2, 2007
Correcting the First
Were it offered to my choice, I should have no objection to a repetition of the same life from its beginning, only asking the advantages authors have in a second edition to correct some faults in the first.
- Benjamin Franklin
- Benjamin Franklin
Mixed Up Sample
A nun went for a urine test. The sample got mixed up. When the doctor told her she was pregnant, she cried and said,
"Shit,we can't even trust cucumber anymore!"
"Shit,we can't even trust cucumber anymore!"
Saturday, September 1, 2007
Leave Your Comfort Zone
You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. What you'll discover will be wonderful. What you'll discover is yourself.
- Alan Alda
- Alan Alda
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