Only by Grace

Bob was caught up in the spirit where he & the Lord stood by to observe a baseball game. The Lord's team was playing Satan's team. The Lord's team was at bat, the score was tied zero to zero, & it was the bottom of the 9th inning with two outs. They continued to watch as a batter stepped up to the plate whose name was Love.

Love swung at the first pitch & hit a single, because Love never fails.

The next batter was named Faith, who also got a single because Faith works with Love.

The next batter up was named Godly Wisdom. Satan wound up & threw the first pitch; Godly Wisdom looked it over and let it pass, because Godly Wisdom does not swing at Satan's pitches. Ball one! Three more pitches & Godly Wisdom walked, because Godly Wisdom never swings at Satan's throws. The bases were loaded.

The Lord then turned to Bob & told him He was now going to bring in His star player. Up to the plate stepped Grace. Bob said he sure did not look like much! Satan's whole team relaxed when they saw Grace.

Thinking he had won the game, Satan wound up & fired his first pitch. To the shock of everyone, Grace hit the ball harder than anyone had ever seen.

But Satan was not worried; his center fielder, the Prince of the air, let very few get by. He went up for the ball, but it went right through his glove, hit him on the head & sent him crashing on the ground; then it continued over the fence for a homerun! The Lord's team won.

The Lord then asked Bob if he knew why Love, Faith, and Godly Wisdom could get on base but could not win the game. Bob answered that he did not know why.

The Lord explained, "If your love, faith & wisdom had won the game, you would have thought you had done it by yourself. Love, faith & wisdom will get you on base, but only My grace can get you home."

-Author Unknown

Beyong Success

Nowadays it is not enough to have more, do more, or get there first. If success has been gained at the expense of character, it is a hollow victory that soon fades. You must not only focus purely on achieving your goals, you must also live with greater purpose and fulfillment by developing your own unique leadership & skills, built upon through timeless principles, in order to make a difference in your life & the lives of countless others.
- Brian Biro

Talk about a Positive Mental Attitude

Saddam Hussein was sitting in his office wondering who to invade next when his telephone rang. "Hallo! Mr. Hussein," a heavily accented voice said. "This is Paddy down in County Cavan, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!"

"Well, Paddy," Saddam replied, "This is indeed important news! Tell me, how big is your army?"

"At this moment in time," said Paddy after a moment's calculation, "there is myself, my cousin Sean, my next door neighbor Gerry, & the entire dominoes team from the pub; that makes 8!"

Saddam sighed. "I must tell you Paddy that I have 1 million men in my army waiting to move on my command."

"Begorra!", said Paddy, "I'll have to ring you back!"

Sure enough, the next day Paddy rang back. "Right Mr. Hussein, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some equipment!"

"And what equipment would that be, Paddy?" Saddam asked.

"Well, we have 2 combine harvesters, a bulldozer & Murphy's tractor from the farm."

Once more Saddam sighed. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 16 thousand tanks, 14 thousand armored personnel carriers, & my army has increased to 1 and a half million since we last spoke."

"Really?!" said Paddy "I'll have to ring you back!"

Sure enough, Paddy rang again the next day. "Right Mr. Hussein, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We've modified Ted's ultra-light with a couple of rifles in the cockpit & the bridge team has joined us as well!"

Saddam was silent for a minute, then sighed. "I must tell you Paddy that I have 10 thousand bombers, 20 thousand MiG 19 attack planes, my military complex is surrounded by laser-guided surface-to-air missile sites, & since we last spoke, my army has increased to 2 million."

"Faith and begorra!", said Paddy, "I'll have to ring you back."

Sure enough, Paddy called again the next day. "Right Mr. Hussein, I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war."

"I'm sorry to hear that" said Saddam. "Why the sudden change of heart?"

"Well," said Paddy "We've all had a chat, & there's no way we can feed 2 million prisoners."

The Moral of the Story is...

The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day the kids came back & one by one began to tell their stories.

Kathy said, "My father's a farmer & we have a lot of egg-laying hens. One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the pickup when we hit a bump in the road & all the eggs went flying and broke & made a mess."

"And what's the moral of the story?" asked the teacher.

"Don't put all your eggs in one basket!"

"Very good," said the teacher. " Now, Lucy?"

"Our family are farmers too. But we raise chickens for the meat market. We had a dozen eggs one time, but when they hatched we only got ten live chicks. And the moral to this story is, don't count your chickens until they hatch."

"That was a fine story Lucy." "Johnny, do you have a story to share?"

"Yes, ma'am, my daddy told me this story about my Aunt Karen. Aunt Karen was a flight engineer in Desert Storm; her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory & all she had was a bottle of whiskey, a machine gun; a machete. She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't break; then she landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops. She killed seventy of them with the machine gun until she ran out of bullets, then she killed twenty more with the machete till the blade broke; then she killed the last ten with her bare hands.

"Good heavens," said the horrified teacher, "What kind of moral did your daddy tell you from that horrible story?"

"Don't screw with Aunt Karen when she's been drinking!"

What Good Night Means...

A army sergeant was passing the barracks after lights out, when he heard some voices from inside. He slammed open the door, and shouted:

"Listen, you guys! A few minutes ago, you all heard me say good night. What you must realize, is that when I say "Good Night," what I really mean is "Shut up!!!"

The room instantly fell silent. But after a few seconds, a small voice could be heard from somewhere in the far back of the dark room: "Good Night, Sergeant"

Mother's Day: The Time is Now

Below is an article written by someone whose mother just passed away.

"I had a marvelous mother who loved me, sacrificed for me and helped me in every way possible. In all of my growing up, through college and eventually marriage, my mother was always at my side. And when I needed help with my little ones, she was there for me.

Today, we buried that wonderful woman. Can you imagine how I felt when I returned from the services and found this poem in her desk drawer?"

THE TIME IS NOW

If you are ever going to love me
Love me now while I can know
The sweet and tender feelings
Which from true affection flow

Love me now while I am living
Do not wait until I am gone
And then have it chiselled in marble
Sweet words on ice cold stone

If you have tender thoughts of me
Please tell me now
If you wait until I am sleeping
Never will be death between us
And I won't hear you then

So if you love me, even a little bit
Let me know while I am living
So that I can treasure it

"Now she is gone & I am sick with guilt because I never told her what she meant to me. Worse yet, I did not treat her as she deserved to be treated.

I found time for everyone & everything but I never made time for her. It would have been easy to drop in for a cup of tea & a hug but my friends came first. Would any of them have done for me what my mother did? I know the answer.

When I called mom on the phone, I was always in a hurry. I feel ashamed when I think of the times I cut her off. I remember too, the times I could have included her and didn't. Our children loved Grandma from the times they were babies. They often turn to her for comfort and advice.
She understood them. I realize now that I was too critical, too short-tempered, too stingy with praise. Grandma gave them unconditional love. The world is filled with sons & daughters like me. I hope they see themselves in this letter and profit from it. It's too late for me & I am sick with regrets."

From: An Unknown Author

Scriptures Mis-quoted

A new pastor moved into town and went out one Saturday to visit his parishioners. All went well until he came to one house. It was obvious that someone was home, but no one came to the door even after he had knocked several times. Finally, he took out his card, wrote on the back "Revelation 3:20" and stuck it in the door.

The next day, as he was counting the offering he found his card in the collection plate. Below his message was a notation "Genesis 3:10".

Revelation 3:20 reads: "Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If any man hear my voice, and opens the door, I will come in to him, and will dine with him, and he will with me."

Genesis 3:10 reads: "And he said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked."