Wrong Hand

Two junior co-eds went to the movies one night. After 15 minutes passed, one girl leaned over & whispered to her friend, "What should I do? The guy sitting next to me is masturbating."

Her friend replied, "Don't do anything. Just ignore it."

The first girl said, "I can't."

Her friend, "Why can't you ignore it?"

The first one says, "Because he's using my hand!"

Transformers: Bumblebee

Name: Bumblebee
Affiliation: Autobot
Sub-Group: Deluxe Vehicle
Alternate Mode: Chrysler ME 412 (Classic Legends)
Function: Espionage & Spying
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Motto: "The least likely can be the most dangerous."
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Character Description:
Bumblebee is an honest & friendly soldier who befriends humanity, namely Sam, in his efforts to find the Allspark. He has difficulty speaking after he was attacked by Megatron & communicates with a radio. Small compared to most other Transformers, Bumblebee more than makes up for through his incredible bravery & willingness to go places larger robots won’t. Capable of aerial & underwater missions, he is more versatile than many other Autobots. His eagerness to do his part leads him to above & beyond the call of duty, often placing him in grave danger. It is a testament to his skill that he has never been captured. Sent to Earth by Optimus Prime ahead of the other Autobots, this tough robot’s job is to do what he does best: gather information, find the keeper of the secrets of the AllSpark & remain hidden. BUMBLEBEE works best in silence & solitude, acting as an unseen guardian over his assigned target. Don’t let the fact that he likes to remain hidden fool you though – when it comes to a fight, he rushes in, both plasma cannons blazing!

How Many?

How many philosophers does it take to change a light bulb?

1) "Hmmm ... well there's an interesting question isn't it?"

2) "Define 'light bulb' ..."

3) "How can you be sure it needs changing?"

4) Three. One to change it and two to stand around arguing over whether or not the light bulb exists.

Transformers: Bonecrusher

Name: Bonecrusher
Affiliation: Decepticon
Sub-Group: Deluxe Vehicle
Alternate Mode: Buffalo Armored Vehicle
Function: Demolitions
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Motto: "Hit it till it stands no taller than dust."
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Character Description:
A Decepticon warrior who hates all others. He is only subservient to Megatron, whom he fears. Bonecrusher is a chaotic madman who lives to destroy. He belongs to a broader group called the Constructicon Devastators. The four other combination Decepticons are: Long Haul, Hightower, Scavenger & Scrapper. When they combine, they wreck havoc.

Circumstances

Rise & shine, baby! Today you shall start paying more for everything you own, buy, enjoy, eat, drink, & also for the services that you recieved. Welcome to a whole new world!

Circumstances do not make the man, they reveal him.
- James Allen