Latest Merger & Acquisition Deals in Town!

Due to Labour Day Policy, I am also taking a day off from blogging. But before I log off, here's something for your holiday:

The Singapore Stock Exchange (SGX) recently rejected a submission from 2 companies filing for M&A. SGX officials deemed the new company's name to be too inappropriate. The 2 companies concerned are Lum Chang Holdings & Har Par Limited.
The new entity's name: Lum Par!

NYSE recently also turned down a similar submission, this time a M&A between 2 national couriers, FedEx & UPS. The proposed company: Fed-Up.
Imagine hearing someone says, "I'm a Fed-up employee!"

I just heard that Motorola is going to merge with Enron.
This time, they're planning to call the new company... yeah...you guessed it correctly...

"Moron!"

P.S.: More on Lum Par Holdings when I get back after the holiday!
Watch this space!

Labour Day's Humor

I used to work in a shoe factory; I tried but I just didn't fit in.

I once worked as a lumberjack,but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.

I tried working in a muffler factory but that was exhausting.

I know I need to study a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patients.

I wanted to be a barber, but I just couldn't cut it.

I got a job at a zoo feeding giraffes but I was fired because I wasn't up to it.

I found being an electrician interesting,but the work was shocking.

I became a professional fisherman,but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.

I tried to be a chef. Figured it would add a little spice to my life but I just didn't have the thyme.
(thyme - leaves used as seasoning)

My last job was working at a coffee shop,but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.

Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it. Mainly because it was a sew-sew job.

I got a job in a work-out gym center, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.

I attempted to be a deli worker,but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.

I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.

The workers at the Singapore Mint went on strike today. They are demanding to make less money!

Who's the Boss?

The boss was complaining in our staff meeting the other day that he wasn't getting any respect. Later that morning he went to a local card and novelty shop and bought a small sign that read, "I'm the Boss". He then taped it to his office door.

Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said. "Your wife called, she wants her sign back!"

One of those days in office...

Murphy's Law:

Office equipment that has broken down will work perfectly when the repairman arrives.

So will your printer, fax machine, or projector.

Let's Play Ball!

After a two-year long study, The National Science Foundation announced the following results on Corporate America's recreational preferences:

The sport of choice for:

Male unemployed or incarcerated individuals is BASKETBALL.
Male maintenance level employees is BOWLING.
Male front-line workers is FOOTBALL.
Male supervisors is BASEBALL.
Male middle management is TENNIS.
Male corporate officers is GOLF.

Conclusion: The higher you are in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become...

Happy Labour Day!

Lampner's Law of Employment:

When leaving work late, you will go unnoticed.
When you leave work early, you will meet the boss in the parking lot.

Happy Labour Day!