The "WOW!" of Vows

Vows. Promises. Word of Honour. We are familiar with them. We would have made some vows, some promises and words of honour at various times of our lives to various people: Our spouses, our employers, our country (through the pledge), even our parents and friends.

Question is: What is the real significance when we uttered those vows and promises? Is it still relevant in the modern 21st century where people no longer take their vows and promises seriously in the light of a self-serving environment? Yes, ours is the proverbial “I’ll do my best, but NO PROMISES…” Sounds familiar? You just hate it when someone disclaimed their liabilities and make light their expectation to deliver. In other words, is there a wow factor in the vow anymore in these age?

I believe there is meaning and purpose behind every well-crafted vow and promise. It is the purpose behind these words that give them significance. Essentially, it is an agreement and determination to be true and stay true. The Bible calls this consecration. Set aside. To be given priority. To be held above all else.

Is this mentality the driving force of your vows and promises – to be true and stay true? Even when the circumstances when you made those vows have changed? I drew inspirations from the sermon I heard 2 week ago about the Nazirite vow. The nature might be different but I think the application is the same.

Recently, I heard and witnessed a lot of couples struggling to keep their marriage intact and in place. Some resented their spouse. Some rejected each other already. Some get distracted by third parties and abandoned their first love. Some claimed that they have tried and exhausted all means for reconciliation.

Bullshit!
Excuses!!
Liars!!!!!!!

Truth is: They just don't want to...

Some becomes outlaws with their in-laws. Joking still, some said, "Divorce? Never! Murder? Maybe!" Husbands and wives stayed on the lifeless marriage because of the house, the kids, the finances, even ...the dog. Sad but true. How to salvage?

I believe we need to return to the very first altar when things began. Go back to the history. Why we get together in the first place? Let’s examine the basic tenets of the vow and then cast it against the backdrop of our marital vow.

A. It is all about BEING DEDICATED TO

When one make a vow (to a spouse), it is meant to be wholly dedicated to him or her. Or in another version, says “to belong to in a special way”. There are 4 possible reasons why someone would dedicate to another as spouse:

To make a ransom demand: “I dedicate myself to you, and you MUST DO THIS AND THIS….” A spouse-napper.
To gain a reward: “I dedicate myself to you so that you WILL GIVE ME…OR I WANT THIS….” A Things-Lover.
To repay a favour: “I dedicate myself to you because you HAVE DONE THIS FOR ME…..........” A grateful-partner.
A committed love response: “I dedicate myself to you because I want to bless you and make your joy my No.1 priority”.
A True Lover.

Don’t be a Things-Lover or Spouse-napper.

B. It is all about BEING SEPARATED FROM

When you study it, the Marriage Vow has at least 4 interesting features:

1. It is unique and exclusive. (Forsaking all, be faithful to ONE)
2. It is public. (In the presence of God and these witnesses…)
3. It is costly. (In sickness or health, through good/ bad times, for better/ worst, in plenty/ in want…no matter come what may… )
4. It is temporal. (as in till death do us part and be re-united when Christ returns)

Don’t let anything come in between the marriage. The union is non-negotiable. Divorce is not an option. Don’t make convenient excuses and look for way out at the very first sign of trouble. That is the summation of the vows. Being “separated from” others to be “alone with” each other.

C. It is all about BEING DESTINED FOR

When two individuals got married, the two shall become one. Problems start when the couples ask, “Which one”? Answer: Christ. That is the eventual destiny of the couple. One for another, both for the LORD (these were the words engraved on the inside of our wedding bands). There is a higher upward agenda then just mastering transitions from young married to old grandparents. When both couple seeks to draw near and imitate Christ, the two shall become spiritually one, not just mere physical or mental or social oneness. The vow seeks unity and oneness in Christ.

Inadvertently, when the vow is threatened or broken, I believe God has made provision for reinstatement, through a journey of healing and restoration by grace through faith and scriptures. I will not dwell on inner healing here. The main focus here is the centrality of the vow.

For young couples starting out, remember the vow you took. They are sacred. Don't lose sight.

For older couples who are struggling, remember the vow you took. Consecrate yourself anew and afresh to each other. Don't lose hope. Don’t give up, or give in to temptations. Be willing to pay the price, any price, to finish well.

Go.
Press on.
Dedicate yourself to God.
Consecrate your marriage again.
The goal is to not just start but finish well.
The bumps on the road are what we climb on to progress.
A good and strong marriage takes lots of effort and sacrifice….and… it is worth everything.