Cross First, Tell Later

You must have crossed the river before you may tell the crocodile he has bad breath.

Chinese Proverb

If You'll Just Learn How To...

A wealthy man came home from a gambling trip and told his wife that he had lost their entire fortune and that they'd have to drastically alter their life-style.

"If you'll just learn to cook," he said, "we can fire the chef."

"Okay," she said. "And if you'll just learn how to make love, we can fire the gardener."