Board Games are Fun! So is Losing!!

I had 2 rounds of board games last night with 3 of my buddies. We had 'Around Africa in 10 Days' for round 1 and a very challenging game called 'Citadel' in round 2. It was hilarious; it was funny; it was confusing (it's always confusing in the first 20 mins or so trying to figure out the rules). Okay, I didn't win in any of those 2 rounds. But heck, who really cares? Afterall, when you are my age, winning really isn't everything. Strangely, I used to think the opposite when I was much younger. Winning really is...EVERYTHING.

As a young boy, I used to think and act competitively. I play and sing competitively. As a young adult, I sell and market competitively. Everything use to be a competition, and in this competition, there can only be one winner, and that winner must be ME. How miserable...expecially when I can't win all the time.

I have since repented years ago. And I was glad I did, because I finally realized that it's not about the winning (or losing). It's not about the destination, but the journey; not the product, but the process. When I focus on the journey instead of the destination, I start to enjoy the friendship and the company I am in. And guess what, when I arrive at the end, we all win!

I used to resent people who try to comfort me by saying, "Oh come on, it's only a game". Yeah right, try it on yourself when you are on the losing team. That was my attitude years ago. But now, the phrase "It's only a game" has more significant meaning to me. It's NOT JUST A GAME; it's a connection. I have a meaningful connection with another being who has chosen to spend time interacting with me apparently via an inconsequencial event: a board game. It's not a game anymore. It's relationship, and in relationship, everybody wins.

I regretted those years when I shunned away one too often from playing games with others because I know I cannot afford to lose. Now I feel that I cannot afford NOT to lose. Less is more. To win, we sometimes have to lose. Someone once quoted: You win the battle, but lose the war. You win an arguement, but lose a friend. You win the match, but lose the respect. How sad. Yes, I can afford to lose now. It's not a big deal anymore.

Nowadays, I have a wonderful feeling when I lost a game, because I know I have won something else: I have won my inner battle, the tension within, the struggle to base my self-worth on something so temporal as the status of a winner. Deep inside, it's okay now. Relationships take priority over personal immaturity.

It was a journey that had taken a great toll on my circles of friends and loved ones. It was a journey of self-discovery and self-awareness that had left a trail of dead bodies and dead-ends along the way. I felt guilty and ugly. What kind of outlook and motto is this anyway: In winning, I lose. I would rather now champion "In losing, I win".

Tonight, I have forgotten how bad it feels to be losing;
Tonight, I don't remember the pressure of not winning;
Tonight, I don't request for a draw or a tie;
Tonight, I finally enjoy losing.
And it is in such a wonderful night that I once again enjoy the marvelous fellowship and companionship of ...my friends!