Mergers & Acquisitions Woes

Recently, there has been a spate of mergers & acquisitions, as well as rumours of M&As. For example, what do you call the new company should Disneyland Corp decides to buy over CISCO Systems? DISCO!

Rumours in the market have it that Lum Chang & Haw Par plan to merge - the proposed new name for the company is ... I believe you have guessed it - Lum Par! However, it is suspected that SES will object to this for it would be deemed not proper for female or lady brokers & remisiers to transact "Lum Par" shares on behalf of their male clients.

Examples:

Client 1: "How much is Lum Par now?"

Client 2: "I want to sell my Lum Par at 60 cents".

Male Broker: "How much do you want to buy Lum Par?"

Female Broker: "Lum Par, 60 cents, sold!"

Newspaper 1: "Good management lifted Lum Par"

Newspaper 2: "Corporate raider consider hostile takeover of all Lum Par in the market"

Fund Manager: "We underweight Lum Par for recent poor performance"

Foreign Investor: "Lum Par caught our attention recently; We see potential in it."

Headlines 1: "Lum Par drops again today!"

Headlines 2: "Mr Dan's (CEO) ability to bring Lum Par to new heights questionable."

SGX warnings: "Lum Par suspended"

Newspaper: "Plunging Lum Par needs Viagra!"

News Reporter: "Today, Lum Par is been squeezed out as market leader."

Employees: "We are Lum Par employees."

Interviewer: "Mr. Tan, you have written in your resume that your last company was ... er... Lum Par. Did they treat you so badly that you have to put in an abusive term for them?"

A share buyer was heard doing a transaction with his remisier over the handphone inside the MRT:

Buyer: "Hey Bill, buy for me Lum Par... Nng Liap (2 lots).

Remisier: "I can't hear you properly. Please repeat your buy order louder."

Buyer (very loud): "Lum Par lah... Nng Liap...OK?"

All the commuters: Stunned, especially the ladies.....


(You may now laugh out loud.........)