King of the Birds, Lord of the Skies

King of the Birds, Lord of the Skies
Gather ye rose buds while ye may, old time is still a flying;
and this same rose that you see today, tomorrow will be dying.
CarpeDiem: Seize the Day!
- Dead Poets Society

Thursday, March 29, 2007

Steven Wright Humor 3

I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the statues that are in all the other museums.
I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose.
I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.
If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
If one synchronised swimmer drowns, do all the rest have to drown too?
If you are in a spaceship that is traveling at the speed of light, and you turn on the headlights, does anything happen?
If you can't hear me, it's because I'm in parentheses.
If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?
If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer?

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