Steven Wright Humor 3

I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the statues that are in all the other museums.
I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose.
I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.
If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
If one synchronised swimmer drowns, do all the rest have to drown too?
If you are in a spaceship that is traveling at the speed of light, and you turn on the headlights, does anything happen?
If you can't hear me, it's because I'm in parentheses.
If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?
If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer?